This Is What Not Everyone Understands About Quiet People

To the people who are just like me — we are the quiet ones.

I guess, quiet is not quite the right word. We are not always quiet. We can be loud and we can be rowdy and we can be funny. We have our moments, and when we have them they shine bright in our pool of memories, because we cherish those times that we feel comfortable enough to be that way. We are not always quiet.

But sometimes, we are very, very quiet.

If you are often quiet, then you probably have a lot of friends who are loud. We attract them. Maybe because we won’t interrupt them or try to upstage them in big groups. In big groups, sometimes, we are kind of shy. With the right friends we are not, but with enough new people we are. It’s a very conflicting way to be.

If you are often quiet, then sometimes you just don’t know what to say. Everyone else seems to think more quickly than you do. You are funny, and you have witty things to say — sometimes you get nervous, and the things you want to say don’t come out right, or aren’t as funny said out loud as they were in your head. Then, you are quiet again. Everyone shouts around you, and you watch, and smile, and participate more in your head than anywhere else.

If you are often quiet, you are so much better one on one, or with all people who you are comfortable with. In groups where you’re not close with some people or where others are very, very loud you tend to fade into the background sometimes.

Of course, you still love groups — just because you are quiet does not mean you are not having fun. I repeat: quiet people are not always quiet because they are upset or sad or angry about something. Sometimes, they are just, quiet. Thoughtful, too. They’re still having fun. They’re still happy. Quiet is not a synonym for sad. A lot of people forget that.

You spend more time composing your thoughts than saying them out loud. You rewrite them and reword them, instead of shouting them out for the whole world to hear.

You like your thoughts. If you shared them all the time, like some people do, they wouldn’t be yours anymore. That’s how it feels.

Quietness can be a burden. You want to be louder. You want to be fun. You are — you are. It’s just hard sometimes. This world is so loud, and you’re not always sure how to keep up.

You didn’t ask to be this way.

This is my whisper to all of those who are quiet. I understand. I can be that way too. It’s ok.

There is nothing wrong with who you are.

Dear everyone in the world who is often or sometimes or occasionally quieter than most — I hear you. So often, I am you.

I know what it’s like to feel shy and unsure and not know what to say. Over the years I’ve grown into my loudness but I will always know what it’s like to have my lips sealed and my thoughts booming. You’ll never be alone in it. 


With quiet demeanors and infinite eyes, you are the quiet ones. We are the ones who are sometimes awkward and always second-guessing. We might feel unnoticed and unconfident. But we forget, we’re one of many.

I get it. I love the way you are. I love the way we are the same. I love the way we match.

Really though, there is so much going on inside our heads. We’re the quiet little loud mouths. The nervous ones. The ones who shake when we’re touched. The ones who whisper to be close and not quiet.

There are times when we meet people who don’t really know us and suddenly, for some reason, we are not really ourselves. We are much louder. We are much bolder. We are not afraid to fill the passing silences with the sound of our own voices. There are times when our voices are so loud we feel like they can be heard all around the world, and the rest of the ones who are also often quiet will smile for us.

But, there will always be quietness about us. And that’s, oh so ok. TC mark

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