If you listened you would’ve heard the snow. It floated down on top of us, heavy on our feet. We laid there and let it collect, never wanted to ruin the form. Our eyes adjusted to the cold, sleepily closing, trying to not to be numb. The snow gave way to rain gave way to sky. The next day we opened our eyes to blue. Few clouds drifted past above and the white had become grey around us. It served as a caution, everything beautiful has its drawback. We all have a dark side, fear of something we aren’t always able to articulate. The snow surrounded us, caught an avalanche on our chests. The rain melted it a little bit, caused it to gather inside of our boots. I was ready to stand, be a little bit closer to the sky. You kept on the ground, wanted to see how long the rain would continue. My feet became ice, made it much harder to stand. I did anyway.
If you listened you would’ve heard the bridge collapse beneath the fire. I became thankful for the ones who burned me. I became ash and dirt welcomed back to Earth. We breathed in the same air once, breathed in each other. Sage is used to cleanse but sometimes the wind picks up and grows out of control. We were quiet and dry, the only sounds were the support beams crackling. If we were listening we might have heard the overpass shatter. We split long ago, forced our legs in different directions. Went as fast we could go. The smoke hung overhead, rapidly consuming and filling up our lungs. The fire caught me and I let it die out. You were the gasoline, burned everything you touched. When the Park Rangers showed up, I could’ve told them the story of how your eyes set everything on fire right before you left. I could’ve told them the tales of smoke and mirrors, how true it is we only see what we want to see. If they were listening I would’ve told them, you can’t really leave if you weren’t actually there to begin with. A hollow human blowing smoke inside of everything he could.
If you listened you would’ve heard the scream. I couldn’t tell you if it was in elation or distress. There have been plenty of times I wasn’t sure I knew the difference. One of my best friends moved to California, traded in the sunrise for the sunset. There are times in your life when you need to hold onto the last few dregs of daylight. You need to feel it on your hands to realize even the smallest pieces become ions. We strive to be balanced surrounded by the positives and negatives. We lose and gain evened out by perspective. You said you had a weak moment, I’m not sure I believe in that. If there are weak moments there must strong ones. But really, they are all just examples of being human. If you bothered to listen, you would hear it. The fire melted the ice and I learned how to swim.
image – Håkan Dahlström