Should I Have Worn Lipstick? The Self-Doubting Questions For The Guy Who Never Texted Back

Was it because I was 5 minutes late? Was it because I drank my drinks too slow? Did my offer to pay seem lame? It’s because I came off like a workaholic, right?

Should I have put on lipstick? Am I too opinionated? Was my dress not your style? Did I say all the wrong things? 

Do I love my family too much? Is my accent annoying? Did I have something in my teeth? Does my future seem too structured? Is my past not colored enough?

Did I fall too hard for your sweet talk? Was my skin not smooth enough? Am I a bad kisser? Should I have sucked your dick longer? Were you offended by my love handles? Do you hate condoms that much? Should I have gone home? Did I snore? Or drool? 

Was my makeup too smudged in the morning? Did my breath smell? Was the harsh morning light unflattering? Did we need alcohol to have chemistry? How many other girls have you ushered out this door?

Are you in love with your ex-girlfriend? Do I not look like my pictures? Am I not girlfriend material? Is the 3-day rule still a thing? Will you ever think about me again?

Why am I not good enough? And why do I care?