grayscale photo of sleeping woman lying on bed

What I Wish I Could Have Told Myself When I Was Struggling With Depression

You are going to find yourself through mindfulness and movement one day. You’re going to be empowered by the confidence and strength you feel each day that you wake up and prove to yourself that you can do hard things. Best of all, even if it takes moving across the country to a big city full of strangers, leaving everything you’ve ever known and the people and places you’ve called home for 27 years, you’re going to find peace through a therapy that actually works for you for the first time ever. You can do it. You can get through this pain. I know it’s hard right now. The nights seem endless and the days feel hopeless and mundane.

You know somewhere deep inside that there’s a life worth living waiting for you out there. That’s why you continue to push forward, even through the numbness, the moments of excruciating pain and the relentless thoughts telling you to just give up.

You continue to live through the days of feeling like no one will ever understand what you’re going through and feeling like you’re not enough. It’s not just depression at this point. Your body is getting weaker from the constant inactivity and all you can handle mentally and emotionally is sitting in a chair and watch episode after episode of mind numbing Netflix reruns, but trust me, one day you’ll be so full of vitality.

You don’t think so now, but you have a purpose. Your purpose is to fight through and overcome this darkness inside of you and show everyone (including yourself) that recovery IS possible. You are responsible for healing from that darkness so you can teach the world what it’s like to not just put your worst days behind you, but make meaning from them.

There will still be struggles, of course, but the difference will be that you have the skills to bounce back from them stronger each time. The difference will be that you know wholeheartedly that no matter what comes your way, life is worth living.

About the author
I am currently finding myself through mindfulness, movement and DBT. Follow Caiti on Instagram or read more articles from Caiti on Thought Catalog.

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