An Open Letter To The Boy I’m Only Newly Dating

smiling man and woman
Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash

You. You came out of nowhere when I least expected. I sat next to you in the pub having no idea that in a few weeks I would be absolutely scared shitless by how much I know I could fall for you.

You asked for my number with the promise of a date. I gave it to you having no idea that I would so look forward to every phone call with you, to hear the way your brilliant mind works and to hear my new favorite snicker when you think I’m a little funny.

I went on our first date with zero expectations. Why should you be different from the guys who have ghosted? Who have lied and betrayed? Who have tried to use their words to cut me emotionally? I expected sirens to go off. It’s easier that way…running…so I can leave before I get hurt.

But you. You blew me away. You, the beautiful balance of a gentleman and a goofball, presented yourself with maturity, honesty, passion, intellect, thoughtfulness… the list goes on.

But I waited, no, I’m still waiting for the red flags. Even though…

You are not afraid to look me in the eye when you talk to me. When you speak, you don’t bother to speak at me. You speak to me, into me even, if that’s even possible. You take my hand with confidence when we walk down the street. You open the car door for me and even give me the illusion that I will get to split the bill with you by making the poor waiter play credit card roulette.

But on top of that, you also gently place your hand on my leg while you’re driving and run your hands through my hair when you talk to me. When I talk, you caress my cheek while I swear you’re looking into the depths of my mind and still managing to listen so intently. When you pull me close, you kiss me with tenderness, but also with fire all at the same time. You’re comfortable telling me what you think about me and you have opened my eyes to realize my full potential. You push me to remember what I have to offer to the world, and what makes me unique. An in-depth analysis of who I truly am from someone who has known me for less time than anyone else important in my life– how?

I think it’s this balance. A perfectly, imperfect, human balance. Between us. In you. In me.

You are everything I have ever wanted in a romantic partner and I am terrified. But I can’t wait to see where this goes. TC mark

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