I Really Am Sorry For Hurting You

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they must pause, reflect, and think back over the moments when life took an unexpected turn. There comes a point where it’s necessary to take a look at who was at fault, who was to blame, and who should be held responsible for what went wrong.

But there comes a point where days become minutes upon hours of useless reminiscence and memory-jogging just to find that at the end of the day, the only solution is to move on.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve made many mistakes in my past. I’ve hurt people who didn’t deserve to get hurt. I’ve forgotten about things that I shouldn’t have forgotten. I’ve lied, cheated, and stole from lives that were close to me; people that were so genuine and loving toward me, yet I thought that living life on my terms was more important. I’ve acted on impulse, done things I shouldn’t have, and paid the consequences for most, if not all, of the acts that I’ve mistakenly committed throughout my life.

I’ve made my amends and given my apologies. I’ve admitted my wrongdoings and had uncomfortable conversations. There once was a time in my younger years when I never apologized for anything. There was a time where my ego was so inflated that I was convinced I could never commit any wrong.

I used to think that people were lucky to be in my life and they were lucky to have me in theirs. This selfish, narcissistic, and egomaniacal way of thinking was wrong, and for that, I have apologized. If you don’t think so, tell me, let me know. Tell me what’s bothering you or what you think I shouldn’t have done so we can pick up our baggage and move on.

You see, I believe that life is too rewarding and time is too valuable to be wasted on reminiscing about the past and thinking over what we could or could not have done. I think that failures and mistakes shape us just as much, if not more, than triumphs and successes.

I think that all of our past stories, good and bad, have the ability to benefit us in the long run. I think that life is taking whatever cards we’ve been dealt and playing the game to the best of our ability. There’s so many things in life that we cannot control, but one thing that we definitely can control is how we treat other people and how we carry ourselves on a daily basis.

If you owe an apology, make it. If you need to ask a question, ask it. If you need to clarify something to someone, clarify it. Don’t go on, day by day, with unresolved instances.

So, to the people that I have wronged, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you and caused you pain or suffering in any way. I’m sorry if I said something, did something, or forgotten something.

But today, as I look back in a generally good mood, I’m not sorry that I made the mistake. I’m sorry for hurting you, but I don’t want to take anything back. Because today, I’m happy. Today, I know that my life has purpose and my life is going somewhere.

And this feeling of accomplishment and happiness is only the result of everything that’s happened in my past. If you still have contempt or refuse to accept my apology, that’s okay. I understand, but I’m not going to entertain it anymore. I’m only going to surround myself with people who want to surround me and that’s all there is to it.