Dear All Men, You’re Good At Relationships

I often write in favor of women. Whether it’s to help them let go of the masculine force that’s dominating their life and forcing them to submit, or empower them so they can finally break free of the false belief that they are not enough.

Well, I am here to express another opinion of mine, because even though all women need to feel like they are good enough, so do all men. 

Disclaimer: I’m not here to defend people’s actions if they decide to cheat or lie, or judge, or physically and psychologically harm their partner. I’m not here to say that you should stay with a person that makes you feel incompetent, just for loving them.

But I am here to point out that everybody, man or woman, has one thing in common: being good at relationships. 

While human beings are so different in many ways, including forms of communication, ways we react to conflict, ways we love one another, personality traits and skill sets, and so on, there is one thing that literally everyone is born with, and that is the ability to relate to another human.

Men often stick to the things they know. They gravitate towards what they are competent at, and they like feeling powerful and chivalrous. And that’s perfectly okay; go on with your bad self. Play the knight in shining armor, and I’ll be the damsel in distress. I’m not going to sit here and pretend I don’t like it.

But, know this. I have yet to meet a single person, man or woman, who was fully confident when they said, “I’m good at relationships.” 

Except, me. I say that all the time.

You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. People look at me like I’m crazy because I’ve managed to fuck up every relationship I’ve been in somehow. I’ve intimidated people with my confidence, and I’ve left people who weren’t as confident in relationships as I was, perhaps prematurely. But, it’s fine. Because I know fundamentally, that I AM good at relationships, and so are you.

I want all men to feel like they are competent when it comes to relationships. I want them to know they can empathize. I want them to know that women aren’t just looking at their money, their fame, and their power, but looking at their ability to relate to them and be intimate with one another.

If you’ve gotten an impression from someone that they were after anything more, I assure you, it was in your mind. If a woman ever made you feel like you need those things to make her happy, I assure you, she’s not the right woman for you. Perhaps that girl feels incompetent in certain areas of her life and isn’t ready for a relationship just yet.

But we are all capable of relationships. We are all able to make someone feel loved, and we are all capable of being loved.

All a relationship is, and all it has to be, is building intimacy with another person. That’s literally it. It shouldn’t be marriage, or kids, or titles, or ways to show off to the world how happy you are, or reasons to update your status. Those might be branches of relationships, but they are not the roots, and they most certainly won’t help you grow.

Let your relationship grow. Give it water. Know that it can go somewhere great if you let it. Don’t be afraid. Don’t hold on to your fear thinking that if you try to relate to someone you will fail. The first step is knowing that you are good at relationships. Seriously, just fake it til you make it, because just like anything else in life, you need to keep trying and trying and trying, to be great at something.