My Date Told Me He Had Cybersex, And He Said He’d Never Do It Again. Here’s Why.

image - Flickr / Darren
image – Flickr / Darren

A few days ago, the stars aligned and I went out on a date with a guy. It went well, and by the end, we were swapping dating horror stories, (of which I have plenty).

I shared a pretty intimate story about a past experience with an ex, which was when it got serious. He told me had something to get off of his chest. He opened up and told me a story that shocked me to my core. I got his permission to write about it as long as I kept his anonymity. So, under that agreement, he shall be referred to as Joseph.

Joseph had just turned 18 and was beginning his coming-out process. Like many young gay men do before they come out, he experimented a bit before deciding this was how he wanted to live his life. Unfortunately, like many before him, he made what I consider to be the mistake of having cyber-sex with random strangers.

He logged onto Skype to begin camming with a boy he’d been talking to for quite some time. They started the video call and everything was normal. They got undressed, did their business, and were casually chatting afterward when the other boy suddenly logged off. Confused, Joseph sat for a moment and got a Skype call from the same boy. Figuring that his friend had just lost connection, he opened it up.

A man dressed all in black was waiting on the other end of the webcam.

Joseph immediately sprang back and shoved clothes over himself and tilted the webcam away. The man on the other end just chuckled and said, “We’ve already seen it all Joseph.”

The man spoke again before Joseph could interject. He instructed my date that they had filmed the entire thing and had his full name and links to all of his social media accounts. The man then started listing off friends and family members of Joseph, all of whom were listed on his Facebook page. The man sent Joseph a Youtube link of the entire cam session recorded. It showed his face, talking about being gay, and his fetishes, and every single physical act that took place over the Skype session.

The man told Joseph that unless he did exactly what the man said, the link to that unlisted video would be sent to every single one of the people they had written down from Joseph’s social media pages.

This was the worst-case scenario Joseph could’ve faced. He hadn’t come out yet, and was worried that his extremely conservative Mormon family would disown him if he revealed his sexuality at all, much less if it was revealed through a full-frontal Skype video. He knew what this man was doing was illegal, but the man was COMPLETELY covered from head to toe and Joseph had next to no information on the boy he had cammed with besides a first name, (which was likely fake).

The Man In Black gave Joseph no time to think. “And unless you do exactly what I say RIGHT NOW, I will send this video to everyone on that list. And if you think you can track us down or stop us, you’re wrong. You aren’t the first person who we’ve done this to and you won’t be the last.”

The camera on the other end of the webcam panned around to show several dark figures in the background of what looked like a hotel room.

“Get a knife,” the man said.

Joseph froze. He figured it’d be money, but he didn’t have a lot of time to think about it, because The Man In Black started counting down.

“Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen, twelve, eleven….”

Joseph jumped up, ran to his kitchen, and made it back to the bedroom just in time.

“Run the knife across your palm.”

Joseph froze, and The Man In Black started counting again. “Five, four, three…”

The knife flashed across the palm of his hand, and through his grimace Joseph saw that the figures in the background were making strange movements. It took him a second to realize they were getting off on his pain.

Through his shock, Joseph barely heard his next instruction.

“Run the knife across your forearm. And scream.”

Joseph began lightly scraping himself on the arm while grunting, but the yell from the Man In Black made him jump. The Man’s voice was labored and filled with heavy breathing; he too was getting pleasure from the scenes on the end of his webcam.


Joseph plunged the knife into his forearm and screamed.


A few seconds later, the Skype call ended abruptly.

The Man In Black had disappeared. Joseph had been blocked on Skype, with absolutely no messages. The boy who he had cammed with had pulled his dating app profile, and no other family member ever received the clip of Joseph’s Skype session. He told his family that he had slipped and cut his forearm on a knife while cooking, which he needed stitches for, and hid the shallower cut on his palm.

To this day, he has never heard back from the group that tormented him that night. He considered trying to find them and press charges for what they did, but he was 18 at the time and still terrified about coming out. That’s why he believed they targeted him, and probably targeted people like him. Because they knew he was in a position where he’d be unable to retaliate. Now, a couple years later, trying to find them would be next to impossible.

It was a shocking story to hear, especially on a first date. It really showed the insane things that people will do to satisfy their own twisted desires, and the scariest thing is that groups of people are out there who still do this. So be careful out there. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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