I’m not going to sit behind a screen and tell you that it’s simple. I’m not going to tell you that I woke up one morning and all my self-esteem problems were fixed, because that’s not how it works. Self-love is a process.
I think at some point in life, everyone struggles with self image. However, I’m not sure societal expectations are entirely to blame. Sure, the media has helped set the standard for what we think beautiful people “should” look like, but our minds are just as responsible.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying it’s your fault, but I’m saying it’s your fault. No, you can’t control magazine covers, heavily-edited photos on your Instagram feed, and this year’s Victoria’s Secret fashion show. But you (and only you) are in charge of your thoughts, and you are you.
You know all that time that you spend wishing you were someone else? It’s all in vain. You will never be anyone else- and I think there’s something so incredible about that. The things that make us unique are what make us so loveable. If every woman was Angelina Jolie, then every man would have to be Brad Pitt. Everyone has different desires, and there is someone in this world that wants you exactly how you are. Even if it’s not you (yet).
I think the most important thing about self esteem is loving yourself as a whole person. If you love what you see in the mirror but loathe your personality, you will never be happy. Do something about it. The minute you let yourself fall in love with your soul will be the first time you make any real progress.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and at first, I didn’t believe in makeup. Almost every single time I pick up a brush or pencil, I look back and wish I hadn’t (mostly because I’m unable to draw straight lines). So, I told myself it was bad to cover up who I really was.
But, I realized it isn’t that. It’s that I am passionate about self love. I’ve overcome the strong hatred I used to entertain, and I’m unbelievably proud of how hard I work everyday to keep it that way. That’s why I am totally content going makeup-less. It makes me so happy to look in the mirror and ask myself, “I like what I see, so why waste time changing it?”
On the other hand, many women are passionate about makeup. And that’s amazing, too. You need to get to the point where you look at yourself in the mirror and you love what you see because it’s the only way to conquer the doubt.
I’ve come to the conclusion that outward appearance should always, always express the things that you love. Just be sure that this passion derives from a feeling, not a person (unless that person is you). Don’t dress a certain way because everyone else is, or because you think a boy will like it that way. That model you idolize? You are not her. But think about it this way: neither is anyone else. And there’s a good chance that the people who strive to be like others are changing for all the wrong reasons. Other people’s approval should never define any part of you. Once you let go of your obsession with impressing others, you will begin to impress yourself.
Remember: self-love is a process. One that I am still going through and likely always will be. Fighting negative thoughts can be a constant battle. There will be days when you look in the mirror and you feel like you’ve never looked better, and then there will be ones when you think that no amount of makeup can fix what is staring back at you.
Prioritize what you love. And when you feel beautiful, treasure that feeling; don’t let an ounce of doubt in. The stronger you build your defense, the better your reflection will look. You’re only given one you. Love it and treat it well. Confident looks good on you.