Freshman girls–before you know it you’ll be putting on your black mini skirts strolling the streets of your private college looking for a magical house where Natural Light is being poured out of a keg. More than likely, you’ll walk around aimlessly until you find that $1.50 hot dog at a local gas station.
But not everything is this complicated. Through your gallivanting adventures you will encounter 8 different kinds of guys at your private institution:
1. The Fratstar
“Yo bro, check out my chubbies.” Trying to avoid seeing a fratstar is like trying to take a sip of water out of a fire hydrant. You’ll spot him right away. He’s the guy in your wearing a bowtie for no reason. He’s the guy wearing Sperry Topsiders and talking about some slam he nailed behind the local bar on trivia night. He’s the guy spitting dip into a bottle with a Vineyard Vines sticker on his laptop. Just look for the little whale, or you know, his letters.
2. The Athletes
Most likely no one has heard of your school’s sports team except for that one time they got blown out by a school people have actually heard of. The typical athlete is sporting team apparel along with Nike flip-flops and black socks. Be kind to the athlete. They were once the big man on campus in high school but now, as we all know, no one cares about athletics.
3. The Club Sporter
The average club sporter is reliving his high school glory days. Whether he is on club baseball or club rugby, he probably thinks it is the greatest thing ever. He might not be the most athletic but he rages just as hard. But hey, not everyone can play ultimate frisbee drunk.
4. The Comm Major
You know that douchebag running down the steps with a tripod? Welp this is him. His personality depends on what his concentration is. Don’t even think about watching TV with him, he won’t shut up on the framing and natural light.
5. The Business Major
He is wearing a suit. Monday through Friday, he is wearing a suit. He spends his days fantasizing about his first BMW and Twitter’s IPO.
6. The Theater Major
Ever find yourself wondering whom in their right mind is singing “Defying Gravity” in the middle of your local coffee shop? It’s this guy. Can you blame though? Isn’t it everyone’s dream to be the third understudy to the lead in “The Book of Mormon?”
7. The Hipster
You know who I am talking about.
8. The guy with the girlfriend back home
We all know one. Poor guy. Maybe one day he’ll be free from the bonds. Could be the life of the party or the guy playing World of Warcraft until 3 in the morning.