I am 21 years old.
I am one of the most recognized guys on my campus of about 6000.
I am in a fraternity.
I am a sorority’s sweetheart.
I am a virgin.
Why does college culture make saying you’re a virgin so difficult? I have dated many women. I’ve had many unanswered texts and have let many texts go unanswered. At first, being a virgin was something I hid. When “never have I ever” was played, I would always put my finger down when someone would say “never have I ever had sex.” Eventually the lie became difficult when pressed for information on the hookup.
But one day I asked myself what the big deal was with being a virgin. Why am I hiding it? When you think about it, there is nothing to hide. Nowadays I embrace my virginity and if you are a virgin, you should too. Here’s why:
1. You have patience.
Girls and boys come and go. This isn’t a bad thing. You should talk to a lot of people so you know what you like. You’ll know when you like that person and you’ll know when you’re ready. If that is marriage, that’s great. If it isn’t, that’s great too.
2. You are desirable.
The girl or boy you are dating or talking to should want to have sex with you. They should have to work for it. What makes them so deserving of your big night? There is nothing sexier to your partner than saying that you waited to have sex with the right person and that person is them.
3. You aren’t rushing things.
Despite what you see on TV or in movies, sex is a big deal. When you have sex with someone, you physically and emotionally saying there is no one else you would rather be with in that moment. This goes back to patience. The saying is that love is patient and kind, not quick and convenient.
4. You can hold a conversation.
If it is known you are a virgin, a girl or guy is more likely to hold a conversation with you on the basis of them knowing that you aren’t trying to get in their pants. You legitimately care about the cute, tall brunette’s club basketball season and you do not just want to slam dunk into her.
5. You aren’t making stupid decisions.
You don’t have to worry going to bed with Kate Upton and waking up with Paula Dean.
I don’t want this to be a post shaming people who choose to have sex. Hell, who knows when I will. I can’t guarantee it will be after marriage but I can guarantee it will be when it feels right. Being a virgin doesn’t suck. It is a fucking honor.