If You Want To Be Truly Happy, You Must First Become Comfortable With Sadness

Life is regularly irregular, and although that is a contradiction in itself, it is one thing you can always count on. No one person is happy all the time, and if the world was constantly one big ball of happiness, fuck, it would be boring.

Growing up, my parents always taught me to look at the balances in life as a blessing. They taught me that nothing in life will ever stay the same, and life is a constant roller coaster with insanely high highs and depressingly low lows. They drummed into me that actually, sometimes we need to appreciate sadness in order to truly appreciate happiness. We have go to the awful depths of our minds and feel nothing but despair to really appreciate how fucking good it feels when we do feel on top of the world.

For me, I am picturing those days where I am driving along in my car with my best friends and we are belting out some top end basic bitch tunes with the warm winds brushing our faces. It’s in those moments where I realize the true extent to my happiness, and I like to relish in those moments and look back on them fondly when I am feeling like a piece of shit.

Why? Because we all have those days when we spill coffee on our clean work shirt, stub our toe on the end of the bed, AND then we have to listen to our colleague Janice ramble on about her new dinner plate collection. It is on the shitty days where we feel pissed off, sad, frustrated, and confused that sadness creeps into the pit of our stomachs to make us second guess if we really are happy.

Ultimately, if we felt happiness all the time, nothing would ever change. We would not have those moments where we realize that something is not right for us, and we need to forge a new path. Maybe if you did not experience hardship, you would not have strived for something divergent and found your partner, your new passion, or a skill you never knew you had. Maybe you would not be screaming at the top of your lungs on a warm sunny day to a naughty nineties playlist with your best mates.

I say, welcome your sadness (and name it Janice), open the door; invite it in for a crappy cup of tea. Understand why you are feeling like this, if it is just a bad day. Take that notion for what it is: just a bad day. If it is a feeling that is ongoing and you need to provoke some action, think about what it takes to make a change in your life or ride the wave and know that it will pass.

Once you have mastered the motion of being okay and maybe even a little comfortable with being sad sometimes, you will be less scared of this emotion. Eventually, instead of relying on happiness being a new promotion or some new wheels to scoot around in, it will be the day you make a morning coffee and all goes to plan. It will be the day that you wake up and make your bed with your little toe still perfectly intact, and you’ll appreciate the fact that Janice actually wants to have a conversation with you about her newest limited edition floral dinner plate instead of ignoring you in the corridor.

Because while on some days you may be screeching face-first down the ramp of the roller coaster we call life, and you may be screaming at the top of your lungs and holding on for dear life, do not forget you are about to climb back up that ramp. And for a few moments, you will appreciate the view from the top and what a beautiful view it is.

Knowing what you know now, will you face the next decline holding on, resisting? Or will you let go and invite the unknown, even though you’re a little bit scared?

About the author
Obsessed with my Italian Greyhound named Louie. Follow Brooke on Instagram or read more articles from Brooke on Thought Catalog.

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