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The Truth Is, You’re Afraid To Be Exactly Who You Are

Who are you? Not who you pretend to be, or try to be, or think you’re being. Who are you really? What’s at your core? What are your intentions? What’s at the heart of your deepest desires? Why do you want what you want? What do you need out of this life to be fulfilled and full and complete? Do you see yourself? Do you see your heart? Your soul? Your spark and essence? Who brings out the purest form of yourself? Who do you feel peaceful with? Who do you feel safe with? And why? Why them? What is it they permit you that others don’t? What do you see in them that you know is inside of yourself and want the freedom to have more of that? Who does your soul dance across the ceiling with? Do you have those people in your life?

I think it’s very important to have those people in your life. Sometimes they don’t start out that way, because they’re also finding their way just like you are, and then like magic, you both learn and change through growing pains, and you meet each other there, in that beautiful, deep understanding and acceptance of each other and the gratitude for the freedom you find together.

But there’s a flip side to you. Who do you become when you’re uncomfortable? How do you behave when you’re unsure? When you’re doubtful? What are you thinking about in that moment? Does your voice get higher? Do you spaz out a bit? Maybe you talk even faster than you already do, if that’s even possible, and it is. You can feel your guts floating above your brain—it’s certainly not a natural feeling. You’re completely ungrounded. Who are you with when that happens? What do you want them to think about you? Why do they feel unsafe? Is it them or is this completely you, putting some expectation on yourself to be something or someone, to be liked at the sacrifice of your own truth? Are they someone you so badly would like to become one of those safe people who sets you free, but ironically you’re doing all the things that would prevent them from getting to know your true self by running so far away from yourself that you aren’t even sure how to get back in your own body in time? What are you scared of? What are you trying to prevent from happening? Humiliating yourself? Because you’re kind of doing all the behaviors that will definitely guarantee humiliation. Maybe you’re apologizing for everything with your body language, with your uncomfortable smile that’s brutally pasted across your face, so uncomfortable, sooo uncomfortable, but you’re there smiling, grinning away like your life depends on it. Like a psychopath. When you’re so clearly panicking on the inside. The other person can smell the fear on you guaranteed. You’re so squirmy. So restless. Who are you now? What happened? Weren’t you so comfortable in your own skin a minute ago? So grounded and at home in your body? What changed? Why are you so quick to self sacrifice for someone else you might not even know all that well? Especially when you know that they would probably like you much more if you were being your true authentic self? Why are you so quick to give your power away? Are you afraid of your own power?

That might be exactly it. I think you’re afraid of how powerful you are. Your capacity, the extent of your beauty, your love, your desire. It’s terrifying. Looking at your own greatness. Admitting to yourself how fucking incredible you are. How fucking unique, deep, awake, and wild you are. That is a lot of responsibility; that’s a lot to take in. But If you ask me, I think it’s time to look yourself straight in the heart and say, okay, challenge accepted. I’m ready now. I’m fucking ready.

About the author
My greatest ambition is to convey to all that you are never alone. Follow Brooke on Instagram or read more articles from Brooke on Thought Catalog.

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