We can’t just demand that be viewed differently by talking about feminism. In order to change the way society sees women as a whole, women need to change what is considered to be “the norm.” The only way to take down a double standard is to turn it into just a standard. The reason men “get away” with being sexually promiscuous is because it has been ingrained in our minds to think “that’s just how men are.” But what if we could change that? Make it so that “that’s just how women are” too?
There are more benefits to typical male sexual habits than women tend to realize. This is mostly due to the fact that as women, we are judged much more harshly for these things due to the double standard they impose. But if the implications no longer existed, you may actual be able to reap the benefits. In my experience, here are some habits that single men embrace, but single women fail to let empower them:
1. Watch Porn
The fallacy that porn is geared towards men and therefore demeaning to women is just that, a fallacy. Do you know how many different types of porn actually exist? It is one of those topics where there truly is “something for everybody.” But beyond that, porn actual holds a lot of educational value. Let me explain.
Many people (both make and female) don’t always know what turns them on. Explore!
Watch something that you’re unsure of, see if you like it. You would be surprised how much you can learn about your own fantasies and desires just by watching other people engage in them. And in the long run, knowing what you like will not only make sex better for you, but better for your partner as well. And keep in mind that there is a very big difference between who you are sexually and who you are as a person. Liking something sexually that others think is “weird” says nothing about your character. You like what you like and there is no shame in that. Plus, if it’s out there, you’re obviously not alone.
2. Masturbate Often
If you want something done right, do it yourself. Amen, sister! Aside from all the scientific benefits such as stress relief and mood enhancement, masturbating can also give you an understanding of what you like and what gets you off. All women are different and there is no general knowledge about what gets an individual woman to reach an orgasm. If you know what works for you, you can easily transfer that knowledge to any future partners you may encounter. You cannot expect someone else to know how to get you off if you don’t know yourself.
3. Play the Field
Just as all women are not the same, neither are all men. The more experiences you have, the more you can learn about what most men generally enjoy while also learning what you do and don’t enjoy. Having a variety of different partners gives you a variety of experiences. That variety will allow you to analyze and assess what you like. In that regard, knowledge is power. You know what you like–you know what to look for in the future.
4. Engage in Strictly Sexual Relationships
I hate the euphemism “making love,” I really do. While I will agree in the fact that actually loving the other person can enhance sexual pleasure, I remain firm in my belief that it is a luxury and not a necessity.
Over the years, I have learned to make a mental disconnect between sex and love. And to my surprise, this has been exceptionally beneficial to both my mental and sexual health. Being able to sleep with someone without feeling emotionally attached to them, while it may seem callous, allows you to have physical experiences without feeling emotionally damaged in the end. Men are too quick to always assume that women cannot separate the emotional and the physical aspects of a relationship but I have fully succeeded in proving them wrong. Try it! You might actually like the freedom it gives you to be able to successfully use your vagina without using your heart. I mean, why buy the pig when all you want is a little sausage??
5. Live Out Your Fantasies
Sexual Fantasies. Everyone has them, but not everybody has the chance to love them out. Do it now, before it’s too late!
You do not need to be in a monogamous relationship in order to live out your sexual fantasies. In fact, it’s probably best that you’re not, depending on what your fantasies involve. There is no guarantee that the man you ultimately fall in love with is going to want to do all the things you have perhaps wondered about all the more reason to get them out of your system while you’re single. Learning about yourself, sexually, while you’re single will enhance your love life when the time comes.
People cheat on their spouses for a multitude of reasons, but if you have these experiences prior to dedicating yourself to monogamy, you won’t suddenly feel the regret of not doing them when you had the chance. Exploring the world of sex is fun! You will learn so much about your physical self, men’s desires, and most importantly you will develop a confidence in yourself that you never imagined you would have. Don’t let social stigmas keep you from being who you want to be and doing what you want to do. If men can do it, so can we!