A Letter To Coffee From A Non-Coffee Lover

Dear Coffee,

I do not drink you, but I most definitely should.

As a college student with those late nights of working on various essays, projects, and readings with a mix of procrastination and socializing with friends, I most definitely could use some caffeine in the morning. Getting through mornings without a cup of coffee is quite the talent, I must say. With the crescendo of yawns that leave your mouth periodically throughout the morning, it is quite impressive if you somehow managed to not fall asleep during class.

As the campus community is flooded with students and professors holding their coffee cups or their big iced coffees from Dunkin’ Donuts, the temptation to get coffee flies across your head. You remind yourself that the first time (and the only time) you tried coffee, you immediately spit it right out. You remember having made the most cringing facial expression in the world as if you had taken a bite into a sour apple. That moment in your life reassures you that a cup of coffee will be unnecessary and unsatisfying, so you move on with your day.

Even though I do not drink coffee, I am surely not against it. People ask me everyday if I drink coffee, and when I answer with a “No, I don’t,” they are as shocked as hearing an answer from someone who hasn’t seen movie classics like The Sandlot, Space Jam, or Goonies. No, I do not drink coffee, and yes I have tried it. My taste buds do not cater to coffee, therefore I don’t drink it; it’s a taste issue. My nose doesn’t cater to coffee either in the sense that the smell of coffee in the morning doesn’t persuade or entice me to want to drink it.

Anything with any slight ounce of coffee in it, I don’t have it. Espressos, cappuccinos, etc. Despite that, I have managed to get by in life without a cup of coffee. As much as I wish I liked drinks like that to give me a nice morning kick-start, I have learned to get by on my own. I have also acknowledged the fact I can make it look like I fit in on campus by getting a nice hot chocolate. No one will know it’s not coffee, if it’s in the same kind of cup coffee goes into.

But hey, that’s just my weird logic.

So coffee, you are not a bad thing. You help people wake up. You’re a lot of people’s favorite drink. You keep people up and going. And, not to mention, you get a lot of good business.

I’m sorry I do not drink you, even though I wish I did because of your benefits, I still probably never will be seen with a cup of actual coffee in hand.

Sincerely,
A (Rare) Non-Coffee Lover