7 Lessons I Learned From My Past Breakups (From A Boy’s Point Of View)

Almost every relationship I have ever had has ended in extreme amounts of failure. Whether it was on my side or on her side isn’t really important. The point is that every time a relationship ended I learning something new about myself. What I liked. What I couldn’t stand. How I felt a relationship should feel.

No matter how you go about it, it will always feel a little wrong. That is because, if it was a real relationship, you are literally throwing away a part of yourself. The person you were when you were with your significant other. And although breakups tend to differ drastically, there are some things that are almost unavoidable in the breakup process.

1. No matter how you go about the breakup, it is always going to be the wrong choice. Not even kidding. I once drove to a girl’s house so we can have the talk face to face, only for her to tell me I should have just texted her. Unless you asked her in advance what would be an acceptable way to break up with her you are basically screwed. And even then, still screwed.

2. Her friends will hate you. It doesn’t matter if you helped change the friend’s tire in the pouring rain while her boyfriend was drinking in the bar next to you. You are scum now. (At least for the first week or so of the breakup.)

3. Your things are lost. Whatever you failed to recover before the breakup, consider it eaten up by the void. If it was clothes, they are hers now. Pictures, destroyed. Etc. However, on some occasions, they are nice enough to leave your stuff on the front porch. Hopefully, it is all there when you get there.

4. Your friends will not understand. No matter how perfect two people seem to be for each other, if you do not feel that way then no one else can make you feel it. Yes, she was attractive. Yes, we liked all the same music. And video games. And my parents loved her and still call her daughter to this day. So what? We sucked together.

5. You are going to be reminded of her. You will be listening to music on Pandora as you do school work and her favorite song will come on. You know, the one that she kept singing in your ears as you tried to play Call of Duty in peace. That one. In fact, you won’t even realize how many things remind you of her until she is no longer in your life.

6. You are going to want her back. It’s going to be 2 a.m. in the morning. You are going to be sitting at your computer and scrolling through the bombardment of relationship post that BuzzFeed and Thought Catalog post to your wall every week, and you are going to miss her. You are going to miss the times you guys sat together and watched or favorite movie. Or at least tried to. The times you came home to find her knocked out in your bed. The times where, even thought you were surrounded by people, it was only you and her. And you are going to want her back. Don’t call her. Don’t text her. Go to sleep. You will feel better in the morning.

7. You are going to forget her. Pretty soon, the little things won’t get to you anymore. Her favorite song will be playing in the background of the coffee shop you are standing in and you won’t even flinch. Or you will recognize it, but not who showed it to you. In a few years, you will struggle to remember her name. Or the times you had together. A scattered dream that’s like a far-off memory; a far-off memory that’s like a scattered dream. (Yes, I just quoted Kingdom Hearts.) And you will move on to the next girl that makes your heart flutter. And hopefully, you won’t have to forget this one.