Ladies and gentlemen, do you have a friend who steady tells you “this is it, we are done,” when talking about the relationship they’ve been done with for a year now? Or are you that person? Either way, people need to stop saying they are done or moving on from someone when they know damn well it’s not an option at that moment.
Let’s not underestimate the strength and courage it takes to move on from someone or from a situation that isn’t healthy for you. It’s a tough decision to follow through on. The problem with saying you’re going to move on and you know you’re not ready to create a false sense of hope for those around you. It also makes your word less valuable, unfortunately.
Your loved ones take time out of their days to be there for you. And yes, they should do that for you and vice-versa. But it’s wasting both your time and your loved ones time knowing you’re just not ready to move on. And if that’s the case, that is okay too. But it’s not okay to say you’re moving on just for shits and giggles or to appease those around you.
When I was in an abusive relationship, I must have said more than a dozen times “I’m leaving. I’m moving on with my life without him in it,”. And when I didn’t, those who I told that to we’re just heartbroken. I could see the pain in their eyes and in their words. It was as if I took an axe to their heart and soul. As time went on, my word no longer meant anything to them and their pain turned into a dull, numb feeling.
People in your life may seem to fade away the more you talk about moving on without any action. Talk is cheap and words mean nothing if there’s never any action along with your words. People, including ourselves, have to draw the line at some point when enough is enough. We are only human and we can only take on so much at once.
If you have friends that say they’re done with someone or leaving their relationship, here are a few tips to decipher whether or not they are serious about it.
They won’t make eye contact when saying it or when you ask questions about their situation.
Excuses, excuses, excuses.
Trying to justify reasons they should stay in their current situation instead of why they shouldn’t.
Talks a good game about other things in their life.
Communication becomes less frequent and/or short.
Follow through on other things in their life often lacks.
These are just a few things to watch out for when you’re questioning whether or not someone is serious about their word. In life, there are many instances when all we can do is take someone’s word because it’s all they can offer. It becomes annoying and frustrating when someone time and time again goes back on their word. It starts making it harder and harder to believe anything they say.
I’ve learned through my experience of cheap talk and empty words and promises that if I know in my heart I am not ready to let something go, not to say I am just to please people. The disappointment I saw in people’s eyes when I told them I was leaving an abusive relationship haunts me now. Our words are all we have and people trust our words. Don’t underestimate the amount of power they hold and how they reflect your overall character.