To The Man In My Life Today: Please Don’t Shut Me Out

couple on a mountain
Anita Peeples

You are so guarded. You show minimal emotion to me or anyone else for that matter. It’s becoming more and more difficult to stay with someone who has me at arms length. I can’t wait forever so please, let me in.

I am not your past, I am your present. I am your gift right because that’s what the present is…a precious gift. Because it’s a gift, you need to cherish and embrace it.

If you keep holding me at arms length and not allow yourself to get emotionally closer to me, this will never succeed.

I want to know you. I want to know your past. I want to know where you want to go. I want to know all of that and more because i want us to work. More importantly, I want to understand you.

I want to know about your childhood and what it was like. Did you go on vacations? Play sports? I want to know what high school was like for you. Were you part of a “clique” or did you not ascribe to a certain group?

I yearn to be closer to you both physically, mentally and emotionally. I want to understand your character and personality. I just want to know the pieces of your puzzle that make you, you.

You do not have to fear me. You don’t have to be scared to let yourself feel and allow someone to know you on an emotional level. I promise you, I will never use it against you but use it to understand you and how I can play a positive role in your life.

I truly want you to see yourself through my eyes because of your purity, honesty and beauty. To see your passion, motivation and desire. I want you to see all that and more through my eyes. 

You have a lot of pain behind your amazing smile. You’ve had a lot of tears fall from those beautiful eyes. It is okay. You are okay. And I am not here to hurt you. Please try to understand that.

You have an almost automatic tendency to avoid conversations about feelings and emotions. You say you’ve dealt with the negative experiences from your past, but I’m not quite sure I can believe that. You know why?

The first time we met, you made up an elaborate lie about how a person close to you died. It took a lot of conscious effort to do that and answer my questions about it. You still talk to an ex who is most likely the reason you are emotionally cut off.

Had you dealt with certain things from your past, there’s no reason to lie or talk to people from your past. A past you have been determined to escape.

This has to be a give and take relationship. There has to be sacrifices we both make. There will be compromises we both have to embrace. It can’t be all me or all you. And we both will have to make one another a priority in our lives. 

I will be your shoulder to cry on when things get tough. Whether it be from dealing with your past or something with a friend, I will undoubtedly be there. I will hold you up when you are unable to hold yourself up. I will hold up our relationship when you aren’t able to. I will fight for us.

Please…for the sake of us and our relationship, open up to me and bring me on the journey through your life. Bring me through your visions and dreams and what you want in this life. Remember, you only get one.

To my man, please recognize how beautiful of a person you are. Feelings and emotions do not make you less manly or weak. They are actually attractive and shows your strength and courage.

To my man, I promise you I’m not going to hurt you. I need you to trust me on this. I feel our connection. I see your pain and joy. All I want is the chance to be your shining light and show you I’m different from your past. Please, let me in and I don’t think you’ll ever regret doing so. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Licensed professional therapist and certified rehabilitation counselor

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