At some point in our lives, most of us have wanted to find “the one” person who we can build a life with. I’m sure many of us have went through our fair share of heartbreaks and pain and many of us have sworn off guys once or twice.
We can’t save people. We can’t turn someone into another and if you are trying to do that, he is probably not the right one for you. Many of us have a tendency to fall for a guy who is not relationship material but we believe we can fix that or change them into being relationship material. How has that worked out for you? I know it hasn’t worked for me!
Guys have several universal qualities that should help you identify whether or not they are relationship material. This is how you’ll know if he’s a keeper or if you need to cut the cord.
1. He loves your good qualities and accepts your flaws
Don’t ever feel you need to hide who you are as a person. We are all flawed in some way and if he accepts your flaws, keep him. Don’t allow someone to criticize you because of your flaws. Be with someone who cherishes your good characteristics while embraces your flaws.
2. He’s there for you when it’s inconvenient
Life happens. And it doesn’t happen according to mine or your schedule. It’s not a “pencil it in” type of thing. Relationships require sacrifice and compromise at times. If he is there for you during a time of need and rearranges things so that he could be there for you, he’s a keeper. Don’t settle for anything less.
3. He takes you into consideration when making decisions
If he values and cherishes you, he will consider you in all decisions regardless of how big or small they are. This means he cares how much a decision will affect you and your feelings. He is being consciously aware of your feelings and how decisions will affect you and your partnership.
4. He is growth oriented
You want someone who is motivated. You want someone who can identify situations they are displeased with and put forth the effort to change those things. Someone who doesn’t stop until they achieve their goals. You need someone who, even if they don’t know how to do something or be there for someone in a way you need, is willing to try and be open to learning.
5. You hold similar values and beliefs
While he doesn’t need to have ALL of the same beliefs and values you have, he should be in line with the most important values and beliefs you hold. You both have to be on the same page so it doesn’t become an issue later on.
6. He views you as his partner
You should never have to question where the relationship is at. You should never feel confused about where you stand in someone’s life. If that’s the case, kick him to the curb.
7. He wants to make you happy
He actively goes out of his way to make you happy. It can be anything from a text to your favorite candy to making you dinner. He just wants to see a smile on your face and will do what he can to see that.
8. He communicates with you
Communication is hard. Especially when it involves uncomfortable feelings and topics. But it is necessary. He’ll be willing to discuss things with you and he will feel comfortable enough to bring things to your attention.
9. He wants the same type of commitment or partnership you do
You both are on the same page. You know what the relationship is and it’s been defined between the two of you. You have defined the fine lines with one another and progressing at the same pace.
10. He wants to make it work
He shows you the relationship is important enough to work through things. He’s willing to weather the storm with you and vice-versa.
If he has these 10 qualities or is working toward them, he’s a keeper! Don’t settle for half. You’re so much better than that and deserve a man who will do the above with and for you.
I feel as we get older, we tend to settle for less than because we’re afraid of being alone or we’re getting too old to have a family. Do not stress about that. You need to be treated right before you could trust someone to be a parent to your children or leaving you feeling empty and lonely.
Find a man who’s able to show you emotions and not feel ashamed. Someone who’s willing to show themselves to you without the mask they wear to the world. You deserve that. Never settle.