She was always thinking about you and how you might be affected by certain things in her life.

Did you ever once consider what she was going through? Do you have the slightest idea what you have put her through?

Of course not because that would require you to be a tad bit selfless and for once to stop thinking of you and only you. She asked for one thing and one thing only. And your response to the request was all she needed to realize you were never serious about the relationship or as it should be called “situationship.”

You had every excuse in the book of bullshit. “I’m leaving for 16 days”, “I don’t like labels”, and “It’s just going to complicate things” were a few of bullshit excuses to come out of your mouth. What does visiting home have to do with you and her? They have nothing to do with each other unless you’re planning on doing or seeing someone at home. You’re being a sketchy person and how is she supposed to trust you given the past lies and making her feel like a fool?

She wanted to know that you and her were exclusive. And she didn’t even need the world to know it. She just wanted you to say it so she could have some peace of mind that she wasn’t wasting her time.

But she was and you didn’t even have the decency to not lead her on. Cowardly, if you ask me.

The night you and her first met was quite the show, wasn’t it? Not like you’d remember since you were blackout drunk and remember very little from the night. Do you remember calling her a bitch and a prude? Do you remember how you were forcefully coming on to her and she ended up leaving early because she was scared shitless?

You probably don’t remember. But you did know at the time you acted inappropriately because you sent her a message that was probably the most honest you had ever been with her. You told her she’s a great person and like no one you’ve ever met. If that was the case, why treat her as if she’s nothing but yesterday’s garbage?

Here’s the kicker…she gave you a second opportunity to show that you’re not that person she met the first night. And you showed her alright. You were on your best behavior. Truly a gentleman.

She knew you had a problem with alcohol, but when it literally consumed you and your whole existence, she freaked out. You became a vicious and spiteful punk. She never thought you would be demeaning, degrading and lie about her to other people.

She was there for you when you were in trouble and needed her there. She made sure she put time aside from her busy schedule to see you and accommodate your schedule. She has shown you how much she cares about you and wants things to progress. Isn’t that the point of hanging out, dating and getting to know each other?

Do you even know anything about her? Do you listen to her? Have you asked her about her health? How about asking her how school is going? How about not making it about you for a night and let this poor girl feel a little important at the very least. After all the shit you have put her through in this short period of time, she deserves a little more than what you’re giving…or not giving her.

If she decides to be there when you get back from your trip, consider yourself lucky. If she is not there, for whatever reason, you will have regrets.

She really is something special and if you end up losing someone who was willing to stand by your side through both yours and her complicated life and circumstances, than you are just an idiot.

She will be the one you let get away. She will be the one you will regret every day and it’s your own damn fault. And that’s what you get for making her feel unimportant, insignificant and undeserving. So, sorry not sorry because you took her for granted and didn’t appreciate her genuine nature and kindness. If she’s not there when you get back, you’ll be the only one to blame.