6 Helpful Tips For The Internet Trolls Who LIVE To Comment

Jay Wennington
Jay Wennington

Two years ago, I was published for the first time, and two years ago, I experienced for the first time what it was like to be verbally attacked by a complete stranger. Since then, I have had several more articles published and several more keyboard bullies bash me.

They attack my character, my personality and even my parents. They sit behind their keyboard and judge me from an article; thinking they’ve figured me out. And as hard as I try, I can’t stop reading the comments on my articles; maybe I will as time goes on, but for now, I’m reading them.

I know that makes you creeps happy; that’s why you write mean comments, to hurt my feelings, so bravo.

Being human, I do have feelings and they do get hurt when someone tells me that I’m a “slut who’s going to get herpes” because I write an article about having a guy in my life who I regularly hookup with.

However, I also understand that because I choose to publicly voice my opinion and share stories; I’m going to have to get used to the comments. But while I try to adjust, I would like to make a few recommendations to all of you internet trolls.

1. Give me helpful criticism.

If you wouldn’t mind, could you please just let me know what you think about the writing? It’d be cool to read some criticism that’s actually constructive. I know, it’s way more your style to just call me names and tell me I’m dumb, but please elaborate a little bit on this.

2. Don’t bring my family into it.

Bash me all you want, but please leave my family out of it. They didn’t write the article, and they can’t control what I write.

Please don’t say they’re “awful parents who have no idea how to raise their children.”

I think they’ve done a standup job considering I’m a college student who works full time, is a freelance writer, and knows how to use manners and not pick on complete strangers.

3. Stop being a hypocrite.

You comment on my articles saying that I’m a whore because I like sex; yet, on the next article about a girl wanting to remain a virgin, you comment saying she’s a prude.

Make up your mind; you’re not making sense.

I’m pretty sure, having sex doesn’t make you a whore and wanting to remain a virgin doesn’t make you a prude, but if it does in your mind, you have to choose a side; it can’t be both.

4. Quit being so dramatic.

I’ve never met anybody more dramatic than a keyboard bully. You can take a joke and turn it into the world’s biggest issue. I wrote an article on being a picky eater and somehow I turned into a racist who suffers from white privilege. How?

You are the biggest drama queens/kings EVER.

5. Share the damn article.

If you’re going to take the time to write a scathing review of my character, at least share it on your social media. This way you can tell your friends and family your opinions of me and they can read it and join in on the bash session.

More chances for you to be rude and more views for me; it’s a win-win.

6. Realize you don’t know me.

Please if you don’t do anything else but this, realize that you don’t know me. You have no idea who I am or anything about my life. Reading one article does not mean you know me. You only know my opinion or experience in one situation that I’ve chosen to share. Don’t mistake one for the other.

7. Get another hobby.

I’ve never commented negatively on an article or a celebrity’s Instagram, so I have no idea if it’s some great experience that I’m missing out on, but I just don’t see where it’s fun. You know what is though?

Writing the article or taking the picture to put on Instagram.

And if you don’t like writing and hate pictures, then here is some good news for you: there’s a shit ton of other amazing things to do in life.

Please, for the love of all things in this world, find a better hobby than being mean to a stranger who you’ve never met. I bet you’ll be way happier and have cooler things to tell your friends and kids about. TC mark

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