1. Complaining about parents
I get it. Sometimes parents can be annoying. They can be protective and overbearing, but it’s because they care about you. In life, you are going to come across people who have gone through some serious shit, and you’re going to come across someone who has lost a mom, dad, or both. You’re going to look like an asshole for bitching about how your mom didn’t pay you back for the chips and ice cream you bought.
2. Complaining about weight
All human beings have insecurities. However, if you’re crying about your thunder thighs and muffin top and then wolfing down a Big Mac, large fry, and a diet coke just because you’re “starving” and it’s “easier” than waiting to get home to eat a salad, then chances are I’m not going to feel any sympathy for you. Do something about it.
3. Going back to exes
If it didn’t work out the first time or the fifth time, it’s probably not going to go well this time around. “But they’re like, completely different now,” you retort as your stalking their facebook. No. Just stop. There is a reason you guys broke up. And everytime you go to drunk text them, remember that reason. Which brings us to our next reason.
4. Blaming it on the a-a-a-a-a alcohol
Trust me. If there is anyone out there who needs to stop doing this, it’s me. I’ve used this excuse more than you would believe, but it can only go so far. And guess what. People don’t give a shit. If you use it enough times, you’re not going to have any friends left to piss off. Oh, you only flirted with my boyfriend because you were drunk? OH OKAY. That makes everything INSTANTLY better. No. It’s because you have no self control, even on a sober day.
5. Looking for love in all the wrong places
Whether that be hooking up with someone who you know is unattainable in hopes of changing their ways, or digging through a carton of Cookies and Cream ice cream, you’re not going to find it, sweetheart. Even by the last spoonful, you’re still going to be upset and probably shitting your pants by the end of the night. Looking for love where there is no love to be found will leave you feeling worse about yourself than the lonliness ever did.
6. Saying “I don’t like using condoms”
Well, I don’t like screaming babies on a normal day. Do you think I’m going to like them at 4 o’clock in the morning? The answer here is, FUCK NO. This is the dumbest excuse I have ever heard. And that goes for, “I don’t have enough money for condoms.” Well then do you have $241,080 in your back pocket? Because that’s how much it costs to raise a kid until the age of 18. Oh yeah, I forgot about STI’s. You really don’t want a picture of your herpes or blue waffle up on google, warning the townspeople why you should always wear a condom.
7. Trying to change people
This goes for trying to convince someone that their religion is bullshit, or that they look hideous in fedoras. Again. Just. Fucking. Stop. People are going to do what they want and believe in what they want, and there is nothing you can do or say to change them. Accept that not everyone out there is like you. There are 7.2 billion people in the world and it is not your job to make them conform into being robots. How boring would it be if we were all the same? This might sound hypocritical since I’m writing this article on what you need to stop doing, but I’m not protesting here. You’re either going to take my advice or not. You’re a human being. You’re going to do what you want.