You Have To Understand That Love Isn’t Everything

Girl in love
Unsplash / Phuoc Le

Growing up, I always thought love was the most important aspect of life. I thought that life could only have meaning if it was filled with love from friends, family, and that special someone.

Love equaled validation and if people didn’t love you, you were less of a person. There was something broken within you if you weren’t loved by many and them not loving you was your fault, your flaw.

Those feelings led me into more than one toxic relationship and meaningless friendship. I wanted someone, anyone that showed me the slightest bit of attention, because that meant I was significant, right?

I also allowed people to treat me negatively because at least I had people in my life.

I wish someone had told me how wrong I was. And maybe someone did, but I was so blinded by what I thought love was and was supposed to be, that I didn’t take the time to listen.

Don’t get me wrong, relationships are important and can be beautiful if they are right.

Unfortunately, so many of us stay in the wrong relationships because we think it’s better to have a bad relationship than be lonely.

We also hope that people can change or we think we deserve the awful treatment we are receiving.

I am here to tell you that you deserve to be loved by the right people. The ones who call, who support you, who show you that love should only be filled with happy tears.

If you don’t think you’re surrounded by the right people, don’t make the mistakes I did. Don’t spend years waiting on them to change and be the person you hope they can be. They won’t. They’ll continue to disappoint you.

I’m also here to say thank you to all those who didn’t love me. All the people who didn’t stay by my side.

You made me realize that while I am not broken, there are parts of me that need changing. You taught me that the most important love I could ever have is the love for myself and while I still have growing to do, I know I’ll get there.

I’m only a failure if I stop trying. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Brittany O’Neal is a writer who is finally finding her voice after spending the majority of her life being silent.

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