My life has hit rock bottom.
That’s probably definitely dramatic, but it does feel that way sometimes. I’m a 22 year old college grad with debt I can’t afford to pay off, living in Missouri (which if you haven’t noticed rhymes with misery) and I’m a freelancer struggling to prove her worth (read: technically unemployed).
But let me take step back and take a moment to be thankful because it definitely isn’t all bad. I’ve got a roof over my head, plenty of food in my fridge, and a car to help me get around. But I’d be lying if I said this is how I pictured my post grad life would look.
But isn’t that how we all feel? Whether it’s good or bad are any of us in the place we thought we’d be post grad? A quick survey of my friends says no. And I know we aren’t the only ones. But instead of spending the next 600 words telling you it’s all going to be okay, I’m going to tell you truth. I don’t know when your time will come. I don’t know why your resume keeps getting ignored, or why that cute guy you met the other night won’t call you back, but I promise you’re not alone. I’m right there with you.
So I took a break from job apps and rejection emails and rounded up the five things that I’m sick of hearing as a 20 something. In fact, hearing these right now is driving me more insane than my current cushy position at “rock bottom.”
1. “It’ll all work out, your 20’s are supposed to suck.”
Okay, I think I speak for all 20 somethings when I say this: THIS IS NOT COMFORTING. Think about it, what 22 year old wants to hear that they next eight years of their life is “supposed to be” a cluster fuck? I get it, with more time, comes more experience and lessons, but if I’m doomed to have a terrible time for an entire decade of my life, let me know gently. Please.
2. “Why don’t you just move home?”
The only thing that seems worse than staying in Missouri, is moving home. I love my parents, I love my siblings and getting home cooked meals is really enticing, but I’ve lived by my own rules for five years, would you want to give that up?
3. “Have you thought about settling for a part time job?”
Yes. Yes I have. But unfortunately I’ve got too much pride, which I’m aware I might regret in the future. understand that some form of steady income is better than not so steady income, but I really want to believe my days of twisting pretzels and folding the same v-neck 20 times in an hour ended in college.
4. “You know, you shouldn’t make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.”
You do realize humans do this every day, right? And I am no different. I’m in a long distance relationship currently and I’d like to be in the same city in the near future (when he graduates). This means either I’m moving to him, he’s moving to me or we’re moving somewhere new. Sadly, I’ve been met with the statement above when explaining this to loved ones. But a lot of the decisions we make are based on temporary feelings. I felt like I’d love Missouri, so I decided to stay here post grad, I thought I’d never miss my family, so I went to college out of state. But I’m human and I changed my mind. I could very well change my mind about my boyfriend, but if I do, I’m the one that has to live with that decision, not everyone else. If I love someone and see a future with them, why can’t I just be supported in that? If I felt the same way about a job as I do about my boyfriend I wouldn’t be met with statements of doubt.
5. “Just go abroad! Travel!”
Oh my gosh! What a great idea, why didn’t I think of packing all my stuff into two suitcases, looking up a cheap hostel and buying an $1,000 plane ticket instead of staying in boring old America? Oh yeah, because I’m broke as shit and my parents were not put on this earth to support me playing fiddle faddle across the ocean.
I know I’m under no obligation to have it all figured out, I don’t even want to have it all figured out, I want to enjoy the ride. I understand my loved ones are just concerned for me, and even though it may not seem like it, I am just as concerned. But sometimes, I just want to vent, or grab lunch without talking about my failures. I promise I’ll put my $100,000 piece of paper to good use, I will, but please, let me live and stop with the unsolicited advice.