woman and child facing towards sunset

An Open Letter To My Future Daughter

To my future daughter, please know that you are loved.

Please know that you came into this world at the right time, into a family that is doing its best.

Please know that your mom isn’t perfect, not even close, and she will never claim to be.

She has demons and scars that may never heal, and she has a real hard time letting people in. But she also has a lot of love to give, so be patient with her.

You will experience the highs and lows of life—hopefully more highs than low. You will meet people who inspire you, challenge you, and change you in ways you thought were not possible.

You’re going to date a few cowards and have your heart broken, before you find someone who is both worthy and brave enough to love you. You’ll become the centre of someone’s world someday, and he will be the luckiest son of a bitch on this earth.

Master the art of not giving a fuck. The worst thing in the world can happen, but the next day the sun will come up. You will eat your toast and you will drink your tea and you will be okay. Even the worst days have only 24 hours, but so do the best.

Be the kind of person who isn’t afraid to ask someone if they are okay twice if they say they are but look like they aren’t.

Be the kind of person who smiles at strangers, regardless of if they smile back.

Be the kind of person you wished for when no one was there for you.

Self-love is important. When you’re all alone and it’s 3 a.m. and you’re on the floor crying, hoping it will all end, who is going to be there? You. Remember that in order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. I am still trying to learn this.

Make sure you do things for yourself. Other people won’t remember your choices 20 years from now. You’re the one who has to live with it.

In saying that, intuition is a strong force. Use your head and your heart wisely, and listen to your gut. It will put you in opportune situations, and it will remove you from those you’re not meant to be in.

Don’t skip stages. You’ll be 18 one day—kiss a few boys, make friends with the weird kid, and wear your heart on your sleeve. Before you know it, you’ll be 35 and missing your childhood home and the memories it made. Stay in contact with the individuals that made their mark on you, the ones who made you into the woman you dreamt of being, and remove the ones who made you question your worth.

Build a life and a career where you aren’t constantly waiting for the weekend. You still have a lot of time to make yourself into the person you wish to be—go get it. You may have to do the things you need to do in order to do the things you want to do—hustle.

Replacing ‘why is this happening to me’ with ‘what is this trying to teach me’ can be a real game-changer. Live with a glass half full mindset and you will give other people a reason to.

Be the woman who knows what she brings to the table, and make damn sure that people know you aren’t afraid to eat alone.

Don’t live the same year over 75 times and call it a life. Travel, experience what the world has to offer, and do things that others may be afraid to do.

Lastly, remember that no matter how old you get, or how old I get, you have my heart.

I write to understand the inner complexity of my tiny brain

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