“Shove a jar of maraschino cherries into their ass, fist them, and then feast on the cherry-mush.”
He likes her, but he doesn’t know if he really likes her. She comes on really strong, and he’s worried that she might love “too much.”
“Our first time messing around, she suddenly gets all dominant on me and telling me what to do. She’s going at it like her one goal on earth is to ruin this streak of blowjobs I’ve had with no happy ending.”
Right when we first got married sex was alright. We did it pretty frequently, I guess. Not so much now though.
It was a mistake. Fuck abstinence. It’s the worst.
In the world there are a select few of us who simply were not build to bear the burden of being single.
Told her I needed to stop mid furious sex because, suddenly, I was absolutely busting for a piss. She was really close to cuming, so naturally she shouted something like “I don’t care! Piss inside me! Keep going!”
After that I went to a club and met this tall redhead who was incredibly beautiful and we had sex… boy had we sex… we literally fucked until we had no more condoms.
“The oldest guy I was ever with (pushing 60 when I was 30) knew exactly what he was doing in bed. He knew what his body was capable of and knew what to do to mine. Old dude was an amazing lay.”
“I’d say hygiene/bad body odor, seriously everyone, WASH YOUR FUCKING JUNK.”