14. I am a victim of the naked an
Met a guy online, agreed to meet up at a coffee shop and the head out to dinner. Get to the coffee shop. See a guy that kinda looks like the profile picture, hitting on some other girl. Her body language was very clearly “eww get this guy away from me”. Yeah I should have left then. Anyway The girl leaves and he makes his way over to me and says hi I’m Mike (because that was his name) You must be PB. La la la let’s go out to the restaurant. On the walk over (three blocks through down town at like 5:30pm) he suggests we just go back to his place and “just make out” for a while before dinner. I turn him down flat.
We get to dinner, the food is good, the service was beyond horrible. We have good conversations but I can tell that this isn’t going to go anywhere.
We decide to head out to the pub down the street to watch the Habs play (Hockey Playoffs). He asks if I mind if we stop at his Condo so he can change (he was still in a suit) before the pub.
I say sure why not, his condo was literally on the way to the pub. Fancy condo, right downtown, even had a doorman (I’ve always wanted a doorman).
Anyway go up to his condo and I’m sitting in his kitchen and he comes out of the hall way to the bathroom/bedroom NAKED and says “Hey baby like my Hard-on”.
I kid you not… I COULDN’T SEE HIS MICRO-DICK FOR THE FOREST OF PUBES. I laughed my ass off and noped my way out of there.
On the way out of the Condo the door man laughed and asked if the guy tried “The Naked man”.
He has never seen it work on a single girl “Mike” has brought home.