16 Couples Who Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage Talk About How Things Turned Out

13. Got better over time

For religious reasons we were not only abstinent, we didn’t touch at all before marriage. The most contact we had in advance of tying the knot was we were once both sitting in the back seat of a car with a carefully delineated line of space between us and the car swerved and his leg briefly brushed against mine.

It was stressful because I was worried about all this sexual incompatibility other people talk about. But I did whatever due diligence I could manage under those constraints – we had several frank discussions about kink and experimentation and sex toys and comfort levels and at what point we’d get help if things weren’t working etc etc. I also made him buy me a vibrator- it seemed like a good symbolic gesture of “we will both work to have orgasms yes we will”. (and lube. We both bought lube. We didn’t really end up needing it but we had it available.)

The first time was mediocre but not painful, I don’t think it’s fair to expect more than that, given that we hadn’t yet worked out the positions, rhythms, etc that really worked for us. It got progressively better from there, I’m very satisfied.

I guess the surprise is that I was expecting my libido to be… Lower. But I admitted this to a friend and she laughed at me so maybe I was in denial I don’t know.

Other than that? Well, I really respect and admire and like him. I only got really infatuated after we were already married, so it’s nice knowing my non-hormone-addled mind also thinks he’s fantastic…

— Buthwyabaiutgeb

14. We waited, and have great sex

The most we did while dating/engaged was one heavy make out session. No groping, even. We’ve been married 5 years and have sex or he gets a bj nearly every single night, unless he’s tired or sick. I love the d, and have declined sex only once I can think of in the last several months. It worked out for us.

— Babyjuly

Brittany Cox

Ontario real estate specialist. I write relationship advice, #GuysInsight, sex, and snark.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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