16 Couples Who Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage Talk About How Things Turned Out

4. Their sex drives are 100% different

A very good male friend of mine didn’t have sex with his current wife until after they got married (her idea), turns out that she basically hates sex and he LOVES it…they have been married 12 years bf he can count how many times they have had sex (less than 10 times).

Suffice it to say, he wouldn’t recommend waiting…

— winchesterian

5. It didn’t hurt us

My husband and I were semi-abstinent (no PIV) for religious reasons, and didn’t live together before we got married (dated 5 years). Have now been married 2.5 years. We have a very healthy marriage and active sex life, in my opinion.

To be fair, we are more part of the Christian left and have always been sex-positive. I’m not sure if I still believe it’s essential to abstain until marriage, but it was very important to my partner, and it didn’t hurt us.

— happy_green_inchworm

6. It ended up going great

IT’S GOING AWESOME. We didn’t have any genital contact (or sight haha). He didn’t even pat my butt. We decided that would be too hard not to push the boundary if that was allowed. Ya gotta draw the line somewhere, I guess. We also didn’t talk about sex explicitly because it turned us on too much. We were pretty horny.

I think it helped us to learn how to work well together and know each other without adding in an element that can cloud the clarity in a relationship. It was also a major trust builder in each other. We accomplished something huge together, and stayed strong for each other.

We love having sex. We do it at least 2-3 times a week, and we’ve been together for over 4 years. It’s cool that neither of us can compare each other to anyone else. Special, sacred, intimate, exciting.

— littlelamb0814

Brittany Cox

Ontario real estate specialist. I write relationship advice, #GuysInsight, sex, and snark.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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