1. It was actually the best sex ever
Best sex I’ve ever had was with a man 26 years my senior. I was 25 at the time.
He was (obviously) much more experienced than any lover I’d had before. He was confident enough to talk dirty to me, we explored kink I hadn’t tried before, and overall it was just more relaxed. I had my first orgasm with him.
I think my original mindset was that he was lucky to be with an adventurous younger woman, so I had less inhibitions with him. Turns out, I was lucky to be with an experienced older gentleman who insisted on communication to ensure I was enjoying myself.
Most of the men I’ve been with that are closer to my age are less concerned with foreplay, and more self conscience about their body/ how long they’ll last/ trying to have porno sex.
2. Lots of goods, a few bads
Just sex? OK.
- Way more patient with my own orgasms
- So much clit love
- Couldnt give a shit if I was on my period, Id shaved, needed to ‘freshen up’, gained a few pounds, nada
- Went out of his way to compliment and affirm my femininity and attractiveness during sex. Repeatedly and with a lot of enthusiasm.
- Wasnt self-conscious about showing affection in front of people he knew
- Spent more time on foreplay, caressing, kissing, etc
- Walked around completely naked with no second thought or self-consciousness
- No awkward porno style positions that are more for visuals than pleasure. That is also my own fault as he would move me out of these positions and say “I think this would be more comfortable”, and he’d be right
- Orgasm control
Not so great differences:
- Would get hard but not ROCK hard even if he viscerally felt that way
- Less volume to his cum
- Intercourse happened once in a session
- Initial conversations about condoms was tense and awkward in ways Ive never experienced with people around my age. Id guess is a generational difference or him being married once for so long, not sure. He’d had a vasectomy so he thought condoms were eternally optional? It was tough. Guys around my age seem to get condom etiquette. Only ran into a few resistant and they just sheepishly try to argue against using them (but know it is a bit fucked up to try to take that position before we actually get serious). He seemed genuinely baffled and offended Id bring it up. He was very educated otherwise but he still took my bringing it up as a personal judgment.
3. It’s chill
They have nothing to prove. They just focus on me and having a good time.
4. He was AMAZING at oral
I was 19 he was 40. My current SO is 21. Sex with the 40-year-old was some of the best I’ve ever had. He was amazing at giving oral due to years of experience. Younger guys often shy away from oral or are too inexperienced.
I also love being dominated and the age difference helped with that. Again, some younger guys aren’t confident/experienced enough to really take control of me.
I learned a lot from him and he made my first anal experience very pleasurable. I usually go for older men because they know what they’re doing in the bedroom and have no problem taking what they want ;)
5. The sex was “amazing”
I was 18, he was 40. The sex was amazing. He really focused on pleasing me, and was great at oral. He wasn’t as hard as younger guys I had been with, but it wasn’t enough to make a difference. He could last a lot longer too. I learned a lot from him and learned what I really liked, how to ask for or take what I wanted.
I gained a lot of sexual confidence. We never tried anal, I wasn’t ready for that at that point. But the dominance thing was a huge turn on for me so his age/experience helped that too.
6. Fucked. Made Love. Had Fun.
I was 21 and he was 41. He had just gotten divorced from his wife because she was a prude and they only had sex once a year. Maybe twice.
Anyway, amazing sex. He just knew everything.
He got me to read 50 Shades of Gray, and I know everyone hates that book, but that book gave me some of the best sex experiences of me life. I was always afraid to initiate more kinky sex with SO’s around my age, so an older man taking charge and doing things I never thought I could do before was amazing.
We fucked, we made love, we had fun.
Literally best time of my life.
7. “He knew EXACTLY what he was doing.”
The oldest guy i was ever with (pushing 60 when i was 30) knew exactly what he was doing in bed. He was an amazing technician. He knew what his body was capable of and knew what to do to mine. Old dude was an amazing lay, 10/10 would bang again. We broke up because i got into a relationship and he was getting back with his wife.
Also old dudes who were having sex in the 70s don’t care as much about your waxing situation, if the grass is long they will still play in it.
8. I miss being wanted so much
I was 19, he was 49. We were together for two years.
He was open about the porn he watched. He knew exactly what he wanted, and didn’t really care that it wasn’t what I wanted (was obsessive about wanting me to orgasm, and loved eating me out, which I am NOT down with). He also had never thought he’d ever sleep with someone as young as I was after he’d passed age 25 or so, so he wanted to bone 24/7, like he knew that he was getting really lucky and wanted to take advantage of the moment. Coerced me into doing really dumb shit like having sex on a public beach. Was enamored with my body. We ended up having to use a lot of lube. Also: he did not give two shits about me hooking up with other dudes.
My boyfriend now is just three years older than I am, and while he loves my body and loves having sex, his world doesn’t revolve around either. We could probably go a solid week without me initiating and not have sex. If I’m wearing a top that shows off my boobs, he won’t try to touch them when he sees them (unless he knows that the resulting erection will soon be put to good use). I kind of miss being wanted so much, but I love my boyfriend more than anything, and I’d much rather have a guy who sets clear and reasonable boundaries for us and himself, and who respects me as a person before enjoying my sexual capabilities.
9. Um, they sucked
Unfortunately the men I’ve slept with who were much older were friggin terrible. I had sex with a 40 year old and a 36/37 year old around the same time(I was 19). They were both boring and I didn’t cum with either one. I’m sure there are plenty of very experienced and good older lovers but I didn’t find them.
10. He CRAVED me.
I was 17, he was 34. He couldn’t get enough of me. Everywhere and anywhere, if he could access me he did – in cars, bathrooms, closets, stairwells, alleyways, once in the aisle of a Woolworths, when that chain was in vogue. I made my holes available and he availed.
The biggest difference for me was how much he wanted me, craved me, seemed addicted to me. Guys my age seemed to be impressed, but not ever to the extent that this guy was – I felt like his personal heroin.
We did this for about eighteen months and then he moved north and got married.
11. Huge confidence boost
When I was 18 I entered into a relationship with a man who was 45. It’s been 5 years now and we are 23/50 and very happy still.
I found the difference was subtle, but there. I felt less like I was being judged, and was just automatically accepted which boosted my confidence. I’ve always been shy, but that confidence boost helped me become more active and involved in sex where as before I was always very passive.
Over the space of around 6 months things slowly evolved and I became the instigator almost all the time, something we are both happy with. He is also able to last longer than any other man I’ve been with in the past. He is also a lot more happy to settle for a cuddle over sex, which is nice as I feel the same; Sex only happens when both of us really want too, so there is no “just get this over with” sex.
Things were a little weird at first while we figured out the power dynamics and settled into a comfortable routine, but now neither of us even notice the age difference.