1. A lot of little things
Listening to me when I speak. Making me feel wanted; not necessarily in a sexual way, but in a way that you actually are enjoying the time we spend together. Smile into our kisses. Rub my back when you hug me. Tell me you are going to miss me. Tell me that I mean something to you. Lay your head on my chest when we sleep; not all night, but long enough that I get that comforting wave over my body. Randomly sit on my lap when we are watching TV.
Let me have the last scoop of Half Baked Ice Cream. Hold my hand when we walk the dog. Hold my hand in the mall. Hold my hand around your friends. Remember to introduce me to people I don’t know and you do. Don’t care about Facebook/Instagram relationship status. Don’t look at your phone when we are at dinner, lunch, breakfast, watching our show, having a conversation. PICK A FUCKING PLACE TO EAT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. Share the covers.
2. Take a little initiative
Put some effort and initiative into the relationship. Don’t make us feel like we’re 100% responsible for everything.
Be the one to plan a date. Don’t wait for a good morning text every morning – be the one to send it now and then. Once in a while, be the one initiating sex.
3. Hold me (please)!
Seriously though there seems to be a weird imbalance in hugging. I ask my GF to hug me all the time, but it’s like she still doesn’t quite get it. We might be cuddling with my arms around her, and I ask her to hug me back, to which she replies “…but I am here”.
Yes baby, but I am the one doing the spooning, petting and comforting. I mean I don’t mind giving, and it’s nice to just hold her but sometimes I want to receive a hug as well! :)
Also hanging on my neck is not a great hug. Actually take your arms and wrap them around the person you like and squeeze!
4. Letting me nap on you
Let me nap on her. I don’t know why, but laying my head on my gal’s lap knocks me right out.
5. Any signs of affection
Any freely given, unsolicited affection. Nothing makes me feel more special than walking down the street with the lady and getting a kiss out of nowhere while waiting for the pedestrian traffic light, or similar situations. In most of my relationships, I’ve had to initiate the intimacy, even when it comes to the small stuff like hugs snuggles and non-sexy kisses.
Obviously it is nice that it is reciprocated, but when it spontaneously given it makes me feel like for once I didn’t have to do something to earn the affection, that the affection is just there because I am who I am and she loves me. I think in a lot of cases girls get to feel that way all the time – they’re constantly validated whether men are pursuing them or keeping them happy in a relationship – it’s extra special when I get to feel that way.
6. Getting physically close to me
I like being touched and being physically close to the people I love. So anything from sitting up against each other to cuddling etc. really make me feel loved.
7. Seeing a pattern? Do something proactive.
I can count on one hand the number of times a GF has ever proactively done something nice/thoughtful for me or initiated intimacy or even complimented me.
And that’s from about 15 years total relationship experience, co-habitation, and 1 marriage.
8. Make me feel appreciated
Leaving me little handwritten notes randomly saying thank you or I love you. Suggesting to me that I can play a video game and she’ll just sit/lay on me and just watch. I’ve seen it mentioned here already but I’ll just echo, when she initiates sex.
I don’t mean start lightly kissing me I mean like grab me and throw me on the bed, rip my clothes off and just get after it. Also doing household chores for me when I don’t have time, and a home-cooked meal when I’m expected to do nothing, just enjoy. It’s really not hard to make a guy feel loved and appreciated, it’s the little things.
9. Silence together
I like being hugged… but more than that, I like it when she shuts up while we hug. I wanna lay on the bed with her for an hour in silence. Just happy in each others arms.
Ideally just after work, let’s just unwind & release all that shitty tension and then get to real life afterwards. But please, no talking… it ruins it…
10. Little signs of appreciation
You say that you’ve been able to observe the instances where guys put in effort to make their ladies feel happy, right? As a guy, all I’d want is some form of appreciation for that effort.
It doesn’t have to be massive or anything. But as a guy, something within me compels me to “take care” of the girl I’m dating. Make her feel safe, protected, happy and taken care of. Not that I’ll baby her or coddle her, but I like the idea of acting as a man who makes the girl I’m dating feel like she’s with someone who takes care of her. I like actions or words on her part that make me feel like I’m doing just that.
Whether it’s a random kiss, an “I love you”, a moment to just hug me and feel close to me, a cuddle session; whatever the case may be. If I’m making her feel loved, let me see in her actions that she feels loved. If I’m making her feel happy, safe, turned on, content, whatever, let me “see the fruits of my labor”, if you will.
Literally anything. Some girls still act like their only responsibility in a relationship is granting the guy permission to date them.
12. Texting us first
I loved the way my ex used to text me or greet me by saying “Hey Handsome”
Still warms my heart to this day
13. A few things to keep in mind
Be vocally thankful and use the things he provides/does. Brag about the things he does subtly to other people while he is around or to him way after he has done something. IMO people love praise as long as it doesn’t become pandering. Thank him right after but go into more detail later/while you are using it.
Understand his shortcomings and try to fill the gaps without being asked. Keep a list of the things he complains about and try to fix them.
Buy him things related to his hobbies the same way guys buy jewelry and flowers. Another option is to buy stuff that makes his life easier. Attach a note about making life a little bit easier for your favorite hard working man.
Be attracted to him and show it. Always try to hold his hand, feel him up, whisper what you are thinking in his ear, initiate sex, ask him to do manly things in a sexualized way and watch like a creeper.
Value his opinions and emotions. Let him be “weak” and give him a safe place to do it. For me the difference between talking to people I like and people I love is how vulnerable I’m willing to make myself. Make it known that his opinion matter more than anyone else’s.
Love notes are great. You don’t hear about it but guys love that shit especially when it isn’t expected. Be detailed. Use a pen and paper. Make it so good we will actually feel bad about even thinking about throwing it away. Leave them in unexpected places.
This is a specific one: If you get pregnant ask if he would be okay naming the kid after themselves. Tell him that you want the kid to be named after the best person you know or something along those lines.
Buy him things you like him in. You like his ass in those pants? Buy more. Buy those sexy boxer briefs. Dress him like his favorite movie star/character (I like modern James Bond, I know you go through my comments). Express why you like the things you are giving him.
Don’t make anything about what he should be doing for you. Valentines day shouldn’t just be a day for him to show how much he loves you. Weddings should be about him too.
If you see his porn history, use it for his benefit. Don’t question it, at all, ever.
Ask him for nudes or send him some (be safe and learn about encryption) and security). If you can afford it, get professional shots done and get it printed out in a book. My leather bound book of porn from my wife is amazing.
Tell him you love during normal times. Anytime you feel comfortable or at ease give him a quick kiss and “I love you”.
14. Have our back in all situations
Make me feel that you’ve my back because I’ll always have yours, that when shit hits the fan I can count on you being by my side as a rock solid wall of support because I will be there for all the times when you’ll need me, give me that feeling that I can trust you with my life because you can trust me with yours.
If a woman could give me that feeling, there’s nothing more that I ask for.