1. Blaming you. Sweet girl, it is never your fault. It is never your fault. You are perfect, a flowing river through the sands of grace. Too often narcissistic men will try to gaslight you by convincing you that you bear responsibility for their sociopathy and emotional abuse. You are a beautiful flower, standing tall among a garden of weeds.
2. Suggesting you aren’t perfect. You deserve better than someone who relentlessly questions you. You deserve better than someone who tries to emotionally blackmail you by suggesting you need to change. You were born as pure perfection, and that’s how you exist in this otherwise broken world. If he can’t accept you at your worst, he does NOT deserve you at your best.
3. Asking you for a “favor.” You are a proud, strong, woman. You are not beholden for any so-called man. Oftentimes “nice” fuckboys will try to make their bullying commands seem like kind requests. Your perfect love will be with someone who accepts you for who you are, and doesn’t expect you to put their needs first.
4. But not caring about your needs and wants. A man who loves you will go out of his way to accommodate you. His heart will smile at the idea of cooking you dinner, buying you expensive gifts, traveling to the places of your dreams.
5. And he puts other people before you (even only sometimes). You are his forever person, he should never be prioritizing anybody before you. By attending family events instead of talking to you on the phone, or hanging out with his guy friends instead of buying you expensive gifts, he is being emotionally negligent and dismissive of your deep love.
6. He gives you feedback you don’t want to hear. “Your person” will never tear you down by trying to get you to change. While highly manipulative narcissists and sociopaths will try to disguise this as “suggestions” or “trying to help you” really he is just trying to help himself. You deserve better.
7. Liking other girl’s posts on social media. By interacting with other women — even close friends or relatives — on social media, he is saying that he is still “on the market” and not “settled down.” You should never, ever tolerate him shopping around and micro-flirting.
8. FYI: Micro-flirting is ALWAYS micro-cheating. If he micro-cheats, by micro-flirting, you are clearly stuck in a toxic relationship. Besides interacting with other women on social media, this could be looking at a woman longer than absolutely necessary, engaging in non-work related conversation with other women, or texting people you don’t know.
9. He won’t share his social media log-in info with you. The only reason a guy wouldn’t share his Facebook, Instagram, Twitter log-ins with you is because he is using these platforms to cheat. It’s unacceptable, and should be GONE.
10. He expects you to share his social media log-in with him. You are a strong, independent woman. You don’t need to stand for his over-controlling and borderline-abusive behavior. You are powerful, and he should know that.
11. He doesn’t respect your needs. You are an introvert. Sometimes your self-care requires you to not answer texts or phone calls for days or weeks on end. That’s okay. You need to take care of yourself, because you are so, so valuable. If his love can’t withstand your self-care, it was never love at all.
12. He doesn’t text you back almost immediately. If he has a job where texting is not allowed, that might be an exception here. Otherwise, he should be excited to reply to every single one of your beautiful texts. He is ALWAYS by his phone, and there is absolutely no excuse for him to not demonstrate his love via communication.