1. “You looked prettier online.”
— RandomTaliyahMain
2. “Glad to see that we are both doing movember this year..”
— Nosaij
3. “Sorry I’m late, my mom wouldn’t get off her ass to iron my shirt.”
— cajundharma
4. “This sounds like a pyramid scheme, but I swear its not…”
— Kehgals
5. “Your perfume smells like my wife’s.”
— trulime
6. “What were you doing at 11:16 in the building on 275 west street today? You usually don’t go there.”
— RvH98
7. “The words ‘I love you.'”
— positive_life
8. “Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”
— MrPope266
9. “I can’t wait to watch you sleep.”
— BrutalFuckingTruth
10. “Just salad? If you think you’re fat it’s okay. You’re not.”
— ucantsimee
11. “I can’t drink tonight because I’m pregnant.”
— Sadiewal
12. “I’m a little short do you mind paying for this one?”
— kidocosmic
13. “You look like my mom”
— Theavenger2140
14. “Have you taken Jesus into your life?”
— TheDeadDocc
15. “I’m legally required to tell you…”
— aaaaaaaarrrrrgh
16. “Do you have names for our children yet?”
— darkbee83
17. “You look fat in that dress.”
— sarahravenclaw
18. “My nan has the same dress as you.”
— sarahravenclaw
19. “Would you consider donating one of your kidneys to someone you were dating, Hypothetically speaking, that is?”
— yes_its_him
20. “If you can’t handle me at my worst you don’t deserve me at my best.”
— FilthyBoobs
21. “Don’t tell my mom.”
— Ryksytiryy
22. “Hey, let’s not drive there I can’t go 15 feet near the playground.”
— Ryksytiryy
23. “I understand women are genetically programmed to want to be provided for.”
— singularpotato
24. “I still love my ex.”
— Nikadas
25. “So how do you feel about kids?”
— iokheira
26. “I don’t like black guys.”
— Gundam336
27. “I’m clean down there.”
— SixSexySockPuppets
28. “You smell exactly like my dying grandfather.”
— withaburningviolin
29. “The simple fact is, it’s not offensive and it’s not ‘assault’. Every woman WANTS to have their pussy grabbed. If they didn’t, they would let you know they were a lesbian.”
— TIFUbyResponding
30. “You’re okay to order off the kids menu right?”
— tabalew
31. “I never shower.”
— 13thStrike
32. “So thats why you only had face pics.”
— Gentzzz
33. “All my exes were crazy, not me! I hate drama sooo much!!”
— m00tles
34. “So, how would you feel about dating a felon”
— Drunk_Grandpa
35. “You mind if my mom joins us?”
— robodwarf22
36. “I don’t think we should teach History.”
— Jayhawkfl
37. “You have good birthing hips. How many children are we going to have?”
— heat_it_and_beat_it
38. “Aww, you’re so much like my ex!”
— LadyEvadne
39. “Excuse me, do you have a vegan-friendly menu?”
— THERAINBOWMUFFIN
40. “I’m not racist but…”
— Galaxy9856
41. “And that’s why I always have a giant black dildo sword in my trunk.”
— NickSkye
42. “When I was ten my dad got me a dog I didn’t want or ask for. So I shot it.” Um ok…. hey I gotta go now.
— lizkathleen1
43. “Are you wild? I bet you’re wild.”
— manic_unicorn
44. “Are you virgin?”
— tehserial
45. “I love you.”
— CleverHomosapien
Don’t say these things, and hopefully your dates will go great! 
