My Boyfriend Showed Up To My Dad’s Funeral Drunk, And Now I Don’t Know What To Do…

Flickr / Stephan Ridgway
Flickr / Stephan Ridgway

Reddit user Aranellle shared a heartbreaking story in R/Relationships, where she is venting and looking for advice.

Basically, Aranellle’s father passed away. The death was not surprising, but it was extremely hard. She was tasked with delivering the eulogy at his funeral, which was an understandably painful process. However, her boyfriend Jason was not there for her AT ALL.

Here’s the story in her own words:

My dad died from liver cancer last week. While it wasn’t exactly sudden it still was. It was really hard for all of us then ontop of everything else, my mom asked me to do the eulogy for my dad (we were really close). I agreed and spent days writing, re-writing, and asking my boyfriend to review my notes…all that. I really wanted a eulogy that would do justice to the kind of person my dad was.

For background, Jason (my boyfriend) and me have been together for about a year or so. I’ll be straight up and say that when Jason and I met I was very much a party person, we both were. But I started to phase out of that part of my life once I got my first real job a couple of months ago, while Jason, who works at a bar, is still out alot getting hammered. When my dad started getting worse and I was at home taking care of him more, Jason started drinking more because the situation was stressful for him. I could understand that somewhat because it’s hard to see someone in that state so I gave him kind of a pass on the drinking and he did come to help my family while we were all taking care of my dad.

The day before the funeral Jason promised to be there. The morning of, nothing. Didn’t come to my house, didn’t show up at the funeral home, or the church, nothing. At least, not until my eulogy, in which he stumbled into the church, body checked himself against a pew, and stumbled to the floor. My brother grabbed him and said he reeked of alcohol and left him in the bathroom. He told him not to come out until he sobered up. By the time the service ended, he was gone.

I don’t think I’ve ever been this angry at someone. My dad liked Jason. He was always nice to him and always treated him well. I wanted Jason to support me and my family but instead he decided to show up drunk. I texted Jason that I didn’t want to see him for the rest of the week because of what he did and he told me that he just doesn’t do well with death and he only had a small drink that day and it must have hit him hard. He said he’s so sorry and asked me to apologize to my family for him and promises to make it up to me.

I don’t know if anything can makeup for this. It’s the first time he’s let me down but this is a really hard let down. My friends say that I should try to get him help for substance abuse but I’m really not sure what I want to do after the week is up.

tl;dr: boyfriend came to my dad’s funeral drunk and interrupted my eulogy. It’s his first big fuckup but I’m seriously considering a breakup.

Most people responding to her story thinks the boyfriend has a drinking problem and should be dumped ASAP:

This is such a messy situation. I’m not sure I could stay with my boyfriend if he did that… TC mark

Brittany Cox

Ontario real estate specialist. I write relationship advice, #GuysInsight, sex, and snark.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

Read Here

More From Thought Catalog