13 Relationship Mistakes You Keep Making That Prove You Didn’t Learn From The Past
By Brit Bandana
1. Picking your type all over again.
We’re attracted to what we’re attracted to. There’s no denying that. However, if you’re consistently picking out the same guy with a different face and it’s not working, it’s not their fault, it’s probably yours. For some reason, that personality type may attract you, but it’s the wrong one for you.
2. Spilling too much, too soon.
There’s no rule book that says we’ve been on X amount of dates, therefore I can now tell this person about my phobia regarding Styrofoam. No, it’s not like that, but you do know when you’ve been a little too candid, too early. There’s a line as invisible as it may be, but it’s there. Don’t cross it.
3. Comparing them repeatedly to your ex.
Sure, there are similarities. There are similarities between everyone, but don’t go confusing this new one to your old one. They are two completely different people. Act like it. You needed the clean slate, and it’s never going to be a spotless reflection unless you push the shadow of your ex out of the door.
4. Relying too heavily on a physical connection.
Are you super excited about this person because of what they have to say or because of what you two will do in the bedroom later? Figure it out. Once you realize what you two have, you can stop pinning false hopes on a shallower attraction.
5. Fearing rejection so much that you only hold on tighter.
Take a deep breath and exhale the anxiety. I know you’re scared because you really like this person, but if you come off as too forward, you could inadvertently lose this person. Don’t be your own worst enemy. If they like you—and there is so much for them to like—then they’ll stick around without you making a thousand and one excuses for why you two should hang out this week.
6. Chasing after someone who’s not chasing after you.
If it feels one-sided, then it is. Don’t second guess yourself, you know deep down that something’s off. I know you could probably convince them eventually to go for you, but it’ll never be the amount you need. In the long run, it’s only setting your heart up for slaughter by pursuing someone who doesn’t have as strong of feelings as you.
7. Losing all your friends to your new relationship.
I don’t know a soul who doesn’t get temporary amnesia when they first meet a new fling. However, it’s when that amnesia becomes long-term when the problems arise. Don’t forget about your friends. They were there before this relationship, and they’ll be there long after. They are the ones whose friendships will still need love and nurturing even though you’re getting laid on a semi-regular basis now.
8. Not taking the time to build memories together.
There’s some real comfort in Netflix and chill, but looking back, are you going to remember all those episodes of Game of Thrones you watched together? Or are you going to look back and see that romantic walk in the park you shared? Hands down, it’s the latter. Don’t get too comfortable, instead go out and do something together.
9. Keeping your lives separate.
The relationships that last the longest are the ones which compliment each other. You don’t need to pick up all their hobbies, and they don’t need to become BFFs with everyone of your friends. However, you two need to be able to have an independent life, which can be easily shared with the other person. Build a gap over the bridge.
10. Talking trash about them to your friends.
Venting is one thing, if something’s truly bothering you. However, if you’re just making fun of your significant other to garner a few laughs from your buds, you should probably not. Your friends won’t be able to tell when you’re joking from when you’re not, and you don’t want to poison them against your relationship.
11. Fighting over the little things.
Snapping when you haven’t eaten or had a long day…hey, we’re all human. Just don’t escalate the fight to full blown war over the toilet seat being left up. It’s not worth it, and it’ll only make you both miserable.
12. Trying to ‘improve’ that person.
They are who they are, and you and no one else will be able to change them. There’s a difference between encouraging someone to follow their dreams, supporting them, and pushing them to be someone they’re not. If you don’t love them for who they are now, you’ll never truly love them. Their potential isn’t a real person.
13. Abandoning ship when things go south only for the sake of being the one to leave first.
You never know, you two may be able to work it out in the end. You won’t know that if you leave too soon, and you’ll always wonder “what if”? No one wants to live with regrets. Besides, there’s no scoreboard. Life isn’t about who won so many points. If they dump you, nobody’s going to think less of you because you’ve been left behind. The relationship ended as they do. Who ended it is hardly the point just that things didn’t work out, which takes zero explanation.