Show me someone who doesn’t love drinking and I’ll show you someone who is a liar (or a recovering alcoholic, in which case, I’m very sorry and congrats on your sobriety!).
I’m a person who loves drinking. I’m not unhealthy about it, of course (only sometimes), but I enjoy a good drink and/or buzz now and again. Sometimes I just don’t want to leave my house, though; social interactions… mehhhhh, driving from the bars… meh, paying $2-$14 per drink… meh, drinking alone at bars (which I should do a how-to guide for that as well, easier if you’re a lady), going out when it’s -10 degrees outside…no fucking way in hell. So why not drink at home alone?
(or if you have a dog, drink with it! This is not my dog, if it were, he wouldn’t be so harshly judging me)
Anyway, I’d like to divulge my secrets of spending the night drinking at home alone. Here it goes:
1. Recruit Friends (optional)
Cheesy? Yes. Do I regret it? No.
If you don’t want to seem like a lonely drunk (honestly, who’s there to judge?) then go ahead, recruit a friend or two and download the iPhone app “Heads Up!” (It costs $0.99 but totally worth it. Caution: will cause laughter).
2. Set the Mood
This night is all about you. No one else (unless you chose to go through with Step 1, but it’s still about you anyway). Put on your favorite genre of music or favorite song on repeat (because no one is there to bitch that you’ve listened to “Turn Me On” by Norah Jones for the 15th time in a row). If you don’t want to listen to music, go ahead and put on your favorite go-to movie, it doesn’t matter that you’ve watch Love Actually 6 times in the past 2 days or that you’re on your 10th straight hour of watching New Girl reruns (because you only have Netflix and that sonofabitch staff won’t add more episodes…Just kidding Netflix Gods, I love you, all hail you). For tonight, we’re going for an IDGAF (I think that’s the correct acronym) setting. If you do choose a movie, you can skip some steps, just choose which ones pertain to your evening, or you can even start out your night watching a movie and then switch it up to listening to music. Your night, your choice, your business.
3. Turn off Electronics
This does not include the TV/Computer from which your playing music/movie/porn (I don’t judge). But turn off your phone. I hate that we are so addicted to technology, yes, I’m being a straight up hypocrite. I check in on Yelp! all of the time, I upload pictures to Facebook the second I take them, I bitch to my friends until they’ve put up the pictures they took 2 minutes prior. But, in the words of Ghandi (or Buddha, or some other kick ass person/God-thing) “Accept the things you cannot change”. But when I drink at home, I like to either turn my phone off, or make sure the texts/notifications sounds are off and put it in another room. You can get distracted easily with the phone and end up not even being alone at all!
4. Fix Yourself a Drink!
If you haven’t watch YDAD on Youtube… do it.
This is by far the most important step. Hopefully you’ve already gone to the store, I decided to forgo that step because if you’re reading this, you have enough alcohol in your home already or you’re a person who prepares. BUT if you haven’t any alcohol, GO GET SOME! Jesus! do you do need my help to do everything?!
My go-to when I’m alone is a nice Mimosa (champagne and OJ < not Simpson, I don’t want to be killed). The main reason I enjoy these when I’m drinking alone is because I like popping the cork. It’s like a short celebration of you… and it frightens the neighbors, which is a plus for me.
Or go all out and try to make your own cocktail! Both channels are funny AND teach you how to make cool drinks!
5. Get To It!
Begin your evening of “You”. What I like to do when I’m alone and watching movies is play games. Find a drinking game for the movie you’re watching.
Or go with the classic:
Above all, remember: This night is YOU. YOU. YOU. YOU. YOU.
Don’t be afraid to be selfish.
In the words of Kirsten Dunst in The Bachelorette,