I Am A Woman, Something Not Everyone Knows How To Love

 Kaci Baum
Kaci Baum

A response to “For women who are ‘difficult’ to love” by Warsan Shire

“i am terrifying and strange and beautiful,
something not everyone knows how to love”

i am a woman,
something not everyone knows how to love

i am a woman
i am someone’s someone
but no, no
i am so much more, more than someone’s someone
i am someone
i’m someone
independent of all the other someone’s

i am a woman
i’ve tried to close my mouth more for another someone
“tried to be softer
less volatile
less awake”
but no, my mouth is meant to bite
to talk over those who talk over me
and my awakeness is permanent
not to be drugged by someone else’s needs

i am a woman
i am a slut, a whore, a cunt
no me importa
i don’t mind to be someone’s play thing in bed
i have the power to choose to my shades
i like to
but no, the play isn’t play after being called a bitch, a twat, a wench, en serio
after serving as one’s punching bag in real life
i cannot enjoy being a fake one in another

i am a woman
i am someone’s punching bag
but no, i am so much more than that
i am a girlfriend
no, no
i was a girlfriend
i am no more, independent of that someone

i am a woman
i am someone’s victim
but no, i was someone’s victim, fue
i owed him, he said
he blocked the door
i couldn’t find my shoe
my damn shoe
he asked in the morning that i wouldn’t say anything

he moved on me
he just started kissing me
it was like a magnet
he didn’t even wait
he was a star, a very dim one
so he thought he could do anything
maybe it was because this was his locker room talk
his football locker room talk
and, it was because he is a rapist

i am a woman
i am someone
i am now forever awake. TC mark

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