That girl is currently me.
Just recently I thought my world came crashing down when my first, (and thought would be my last) boyfriend broke my heart. I didn’t see it coming. No one saw it coming but it still came. It’s been hard and yes, you are probably all thinking that I’m only 19 and he was my first love- there will be others.
The reason we broke up is that ‘it just got too hard.’ We go to universities over 300 miles apart from each other and while this may have been the case, after some serious reflection I have come to the conclusion that the reason he really broke it off was that I stopped loving myself.
Harsh as this may seem, I know it to be true. I stopped loving who I was quite some time ago for reasons unknown to me. I stopped smiling at myself in the mirror, I stopped thinking I was smart, I stopped trying to make myself happy in the midst of trying to make others happy and it all got too much. I transitioned into university life with low self-esteem and low confidence, not because of my boyfriend but because I was not happy being by myself. And now that I am left without the happiness of him, I am left to make myself happy and, well, fall in love with myself again. So if anyone is reading this and thinking that they too need to fall in love with themselves again, then you can listen to the advice of this 19-year-old girl who is trying to love herself again before she can allow anyone else to. Here are five short revelations that I have discovered on my journey of self-love.
1. Allow yourself to feel emotions. Cry when you feel like crying, be angry when you feel like being angry but also know it is ok to smile and be happy, even if you are sitting in your room alone.
2. Talk to your family and friends. These are the people who know and love you the most and if they find something in you to love, then there must be something good about you.
3. Get comfortable being in your own skin and spending days alone. Talk to yourself if you have to. Laugh out loud when you read something funny. Don’t think just because no one is around you that you can’t have a good time.
4. Rediscover your passions. For me, these are playing guitar, reading, and writing. Oh and also playing a million games of solitaire while I watch Gilmore Girls. But, if it makes you happy then do it.
5. Look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of what you see. You should be proud of every freckle or scar on your body and proud of the smile you wear. Everyone goes through hardships and tough times so be nice to yourself because you deserve happiness too.
So there we go, 5 tips from a 19-year-old girl who is trying to fall in love with herself again so she can try to help others to do the same.