For those of you who don’t know — probably because you’re a semi-normal and well-adjusted human being who has better things to do than track unofficial holidays for cult classic sci-fi films — it is May the Fourth Be With You (get it, geeeeet it?!). Insert hashtag as needed.
It is a day where we of the Star Wars life style take a moment to remember what is truly important, whether it be the wise words of Obi-Wan Kenobi:
Or maybe the quiet, dulcet inflections of Carrie Fisher as she dissects the complications of love, sibling affection, and the total destruction of her planet which everybody kind of just ignores because boo-freaking-hoo this dude Luke knew for two seconds died. Poor baby.
Whatever majestic scene your heart conjures up, here are some facts I painstakingly researched
stole in order to help everyone better appreciate this momentous day:
1. In a story development session for Return of the Jedi, George Lucas toyed with the idea that after Luke removes dying Vader’s helmet, he puts it on, proclaims “Now I am Vader” and turns to the dark side. I have to say, I would have enjoyed this.
2. In The Phantom Menace, Yoda has three toes. But in The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi and Revenge of the Sith, he has four. Well, as we all know, The Phantom Menace doesn’t really count anyway.
3. Even though female fighter pilots were in the original screenplay, they were removed from final cut. Nice to see sexism was alive and well in the rest of the galaxy.
4. In Episode 1, the personal communicator used by Qui-Gon Jinn is actually made from a resin cast of a Gillette Ladies Sensor Excell Razor. Too bad he didn’t use it to shave Jar-Jar Binks out of the entire production. Hahah… ha… no? Okay.
5. The phrase “I have a bad feeling about this” is said in every film.
6. The Ewok language is a combination of Tibetan and Nepalese. I don’t know about you, but I felt the wisdom of Buddha in those tiny furry heroes.
7. David Prowse, the actor who portrayed Darth Vader, is banned from attending official Star Wars conventions because George Lucas finds him annoying. Not talking about the voice actor (whom you also know was the voice of Mufasa as well) but the body actor, who apparently pitched a major bitch fit over having his voice replaced.
8. My father’s best friend’s mother babysat Mark Hamill’s children while they were filming some of the sand dune scenes in Yuma, Arizona and I have absolutely no way to back this up other than swearing to fight anyone who calls my father a liar. I should warn you, I do have one of those flip out light-sabers, the very end of it is broken off but it can still do some real damage. Just ask my little sister.
9. Mark Hamill was in a bad car accident before filming started on Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back, causing severe facial trauma. The scene in which Luke Skywalker is mauled by a Wampa was added to account for the scarring on his face. And also may be part of the reason he didn’t do much acting after? (This is purely speculation and I have done exactly zero research to back up this claim.)
10. The word “ewok” is never said out loud in the Star Wars movies. Although, the species is identified in the script and closing credits.
11. Mark Hamill is also (semi) famous for his voice acting of the Joker, beginning in Batman: The Animated Series (1992-1995), a show which a pretty huge part of my childhood.
12. No physical clone trooper outfits were actually produced for the Star Wars prequel film, Revenge of the Sith. Every clone trooper seen in the Star Wars film was created with CGI. Because it’s harder to stick a dude in a suit that literally thousands of amateurs make every year than it is to digitally render a life like human being using state of the art computer technology. Duh.
13. Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia) was ordered to squish her boobs down with gaffer tape because apparently there was no underwear in space… but people taped their boobs, apparently. #freethenips
14. Samuel L. Jackson claims that the words “bad motherfucker” were engraved on the lightsaber he used in the Star Wars films. And if that doesn’t make your day than well, I think you need to reevaluate what is important to you in life.
15. The in-universe name for the genre of music heard during the cantina scene is “jizz.”
16. Lucasfilm has someone on staff whose job is just to maintain Star Wars canon. Which makes the prequel films even sadder, if you ask me. (Spoiler: no one asked me.)
17. In an early draft of the Star Wars story, R2-D2 speaks standard English, and is actually kind of a jerk.
18. The Iconic scene where Han Solo is being lowered into a giant refrigerator, I mean carbonite freezing chamber, and the distraught Princess Leia says ‘I love you,’ and he goes ‘I know,’ like that one dicky boyfriend every girl has had, was improvised. He was originally supposed to say either ‘Just remember that because I’ll be back’ or ‘I love you, too.”
19. Yoda’s good looks were based on Albert Einstein. Rawr.
20. Al Pacino and Christopher Walken were also considered for the role of Han Solo. In fact, Harrison Ford was only brought in to read a few lines until they could find the real pilot of the Millennium Falcon and then, presumably, he won out based on sheer badasserie and charm.
21. Han Solo was also originally imagined as a super sexy green skinned monster with a set of gills and no nose, which really would have messed with my childhood crush radar.