1. You’re never quite nerdy enough — or you’re the wrong kind of nerd. Or maybe you’re not the exact right mix of “sexy” nerd that seems to permeate your news feed. Not everyone can pull off Deathly Hallow tights and a lightning scar corset, okay?!
2. You’re twenty five (or older) and you still enjoy cartoons and books meant for people ten years younger than you. Guilty pleasure doesn’t even begin to cover it.
3. You’re equal parts excited and disappointed that modern movie magic allows your favorite books to be brought to life. It’s awesome to see a world you loved in your mind play out across the big screen but it’s awful when it’s a world populated by poorly casted characters and cheesy, inaccurate dialogue.
4. No one cares if you’ve read the book before the movie and no one wants to hear about how wrong Hollywood got it. See: Tauriel in the Hobbit. Tolkien may have been a tiny bit sexist, but throwing a random elf chick in the midst and then creating possibly the weirdest, multi-specie love triangle ever, really didn’t help matters.
5. No one cares that you hated a super popular book based movie. NO ONE. Percy Jackson… just… why? Why?
6. You often feel like you have more in common with fictional characters than you do with real life people. This is something you try not to reflect on too deeply.
7. You hate judging people by their appearances (comic book superheroes taught you the importance of that) but you can’t help but wonder if that big boobed cosplayer actually really enjoyed the Starfire comics… or if she just wanted to wear possibly one of the skimpiest superhero outfits you’ve ever seen. I mean, there must be five yards of tape holding that shit together. Also: boob envy.
8. Reading/watching/playing a game where the female character is not either some sort of damsel in distress or wearing armor that covers pretty much nothing but her vagina and nipples, is like a breath of fresh, realistic air.
9. Due to reading/watching/playing certain games, you grew into adolescence with an unrealistic expectation of love and adventure. The real thing often seems a little lack luster and uneventful. Where are the sword fights? The epic declarations of love and devotion? Why is my love life more like Game of Thrones (excluding, you know, twinscest) than Harry Potter?!
10. You’ve been told you have a ‘sexy’ voice at least once by some vaguely creepy man-child on some version of a virtual reality. You really don’t know what’s sexy about you pointing out his shitty DPS, so it remains another MMO mystery.
11. You could probably write a ten page, highly researched paper about George R.R. Martin’s portrayal of women in the Game of Thrones series and have only a vague understanding of modern-day politics and happenings. Daenerys, I still got your back girl, I think you can pull your shit together and take over the world.
12. You defend your favorite book/comic/anime/video game character with the sort of zeal most people reserve for their close relatives or spouses. I will go down with the Ron-is-super-awesome-and-he-and-Hermione-belong-together-ship, J.K. Rowling! YOU HEAR ME?!
13. You probably spend a lot, and I mean a lot, of money on t-shirts that maybe three other people understand and everyone else just kind of raises a concerned eye brow at. My Deadpool/Invader Zim shirt is not weird, mom, it is incredibly awesome.
14. You have no idea why anyone would want to wear fake glasses. What is with this pervasive misconception that you have to have poor vision to be nerdy?
15. The Guild is the best web series and you love/hate how much you can relate to it. You may have even had a less crazy version of a Zaboo… who may or may not have mailed you a love letter containing pictures combining the two of you in a really, really, poor display of photoshop.
16. You’d rather spend money on attire (gear) for a video game then for your actual, you know, real life body. But I mean, look at the mana regen on that armor! And it matches my healing staff…
17. You’ve read fanfiction, you’ve dipped into the murky, uncomfortable world of seeing your favorite characters sexually and mentally defiled in ways you couldn’t have imagined in your most fucked-up dreams. You can never unread them, never.
18. It’s vaguely painful to observe other girls being embraced and applauded for their passions and interests nowadays when those same things got you teased, picked on and ostracized when you were in school. Oh well — progress, right?
19. Your parents/relatives/friends often wonder if you’ll ever “grow up.”
20. Pornshire in World of Warcraft is a real thing and it may have left irreparable scars on your very soul.