Everyone tells you to build your life on passion. To choose the things that leave you breathless, weak-kneed, glimmer-eyed and inspired.
What they do not tell you is that those are also often the things that are unrealistic, inflated, short-lived and unhealthy.
It’s hard to accept that our feelings could fail us like this, especially when they are so compelling.
There is nothing most of us want than something in our lives that sweeps us out of complacency and into an entirely new existence.
That is a fairytale that does not end happily ever after.
The truth is that when something is really right for you, it makes you feel completely at ease. This is why we are often reaching and struggling for ‘dreams’ we haven’t closely evaluated, that we don’t really want and aren’t really suited for.
This is why it is so easy to overlook our true purpose, our best skills, our soulmates… even when they are right in front of us.
What is right for you will make you feel complete, resounding peace. It will be effortless, even though it is work. It will require you to show up, even though showing up feels like second nature. It is not that you have to do nothing, it is that doing something feels more natural than anything else.
The things that come easily and effortlessly to you are not a coincidence.
They are not to be overlooked.
Healthy, loving, long-term relationships are built on a foundation of comfort, respect and understanding. Lust comes and goes. It is not what you build a life on.
Successful, meaningful, purposeful careers are built on a foundation of where your skills and interests intersect. Passion comes and goes. It is not what you build a life on.
True beauty, style and attractiveness are built on a foundation of self-acceptance and respect. Trends come and go. It is not what you build a life on.
When something comes effortlessly to you, it is something you are meant to do.
It is often the area of life in which you will be most successful.
This is not a coincidence.
This happens because what comes most effortlessly to you is what you feel most comfortable doing every single day.
If you are in a heavy, tense, up-and-down, hot-and-cold relationship, you are eventually going to run out of the mental bandwidth to tolerate it every single day of your life.
If you have a loving partner who is the backbone of your life and supports you in your day-to-day ambitions and goals, you have someone you can truly build a life with.
We often think that soulmate relationships, dream careers, perfect beauty and everything else we so deeply desire is something we stumble upon, something we find. In reality, it is something we build.
And the pieces with which we build it are, first and foremost, what comes most easily to us.
Please do not listen to people who say follow your passion.
Your passion sparks the fire, it is not the kindling that keeps it burning through the night.
Please do not listen to people who say your soulmate is the person you are most instantly enamored by.
It is the person with whom you build a best friendship and a romantic relationship. Nothing else is sustainable.
Please do not listen to people who think you can edit, shift and warp your way into looking entirely different.
Your beauty comes from accentuating your features, not covering them up.
Sometimes, we get so lost in the dreams we make up for our lives that we fail to see what is right in front of us, we are less interested in what is most right for us, we undervalue what are our greatest blessings and gifts.
Fireworks come and go, they are sparks in the night.
The stuff a good life is made of is deeper than that, stronger than that, brighter than that. It’s what burns even when it’s not exploding. It’s what shines even when it’s not on fire.
It is steady, it is easy.
It makes you the best possible version of yourself that you could ever imagine being.