Don't Fall In Love With Potential

If You’re Hung Up On Trying To Prove The People From Your Past Wrong, You’re Honestly Just Failing Yourself

You don’t need a revenge body.

You don’t need a revenge career.

You don’t need a revenge life.

If any one of these things is something you are seriously motivated by, you need to check yourself.

Sure, the idea that one day all of the people who doubted and rejected you could be impressed by you and know that they were wrong is nice. It’s not even just nice, it’s sometimes the only way to feel you’ve gotten justice over something that hurt you so badly.

It is a good feeling to think that maybe the people who didn’t think you were good enough can see you being more than good enough for someone or something else.

It creates a sense of dignity, washes away any shreds of leftover doubt you were carrying around.

But the truth of the matter is that these things are nice and gratifying but they can only really be worthwhile if they happen organically.

Trying to design your life to be something that “proves someone wrong” and enacts revenge upon them isn’t just delusional, it also puts you into a very narrow box in which your efforts go mostly toward trying to be the opposite of whatever you were convinced they didn’t believe you were enough of.

The thing about the people who didn’t care about you is that they didn’t care. 

You’re seeing your life through the eyes of someone who was never really looking, and still isn’t.

You’re building an empire on a foundation of insecurity.

And what nobody talks about is the fact that a “revenge life” doesn’t feel good, it feels hollow. The reward of it is based on someone else’s reaction, which you may or may not ever get.

And even if you do… then what?

You’re the one who has to keep on living.

You’re the one who has to keep doing this.

If you’re really hung up on trying to prove people from your past wrong, you need to realize that you’re ultimately just failing yourself. You’re denying yourself what you didn’t have then and you still don’t have now which is a genuine, radiating sense of inner peace, the kind that doesn’t concern itself with whether or not you ever measured up to the people who didn’t love you to begin with.

Trying to get a revenge life is like trying to earn the love of someone who has never had any interest in giving it to you. So why bother?

Start rebuilding your life in a way that makes you feel good. Not just good, but well enough that you’re so immersed in the experience of your everyday life you no longer even think about what so-and-so from such-and-such a time could possibly think if they happen to one day in passing see you again.

Trying to win the awe of the people who hurt you is keeping alive a ghost, and you’re wondering why you still feel haunted? You’re wondering why all of your efforts to become better, more successful, so untouchable, all leave you feeling empty in the end?

You’re responding to fear more than you’re listening to love.

You’re staying stuck in what was instead of immersing yourself completely in what could be.

Do yourself the biggest favor of your entire life and remember that the people who didn’t love you are not paying attention to you, not in the way you think that they are. In this is not another form of rejection, this is freedom.

This is your permission to finally choose a life that’s finally yours. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Brianna is the author of 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, The Mountain Is You, Ceremony, and When You’re Ready, This Is How You Heal.

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