Healing the way you think does not mean that you self-help your way into whatever you think “perfection” is.
It does not mean that you do everything correctly on the first try. It does not mean you are able to intuit exactly what’s “right” for you without trying and failing sometimes. It does not mean that you will be seamlessly, unendingly productive, or that you’ll immediately like everyone you meet, and never have an ounce of self-doubt again.
What most people are aiming for isn’t a healthy mindset, it’s the kind of perfectionistic nonsense that’s breaking them in the first place.
A healthy mindset is being okay with trying, even if you aren’t the best. It is accepting that you don’t have to like everyone you meet and that they don’t have to take up any space in your mind or life if you don’t want them to. It means honoring when you aren’t feeling productive, and giving yourself the rest you need. It means pushing yourself when you know that you can stand to go a little farther. It means getting very good at discerning the difference.
A healthy mindset is not believing that everything is perfect, it is knowing that you will be okay even if it isn’t.
Most people live their lives thinking that just because they aren’t doing everything perfectly, that there’s something wrong with them. That they just need to be unblocked, healed, purged and awakened into some greater understanding that will make them the super beings they think they want to be.
That is not what healing is. That is not what awakening is.
Developing a healthy mindset is no longer avoiding, denying or rejecting discomfort, and it is knowing when discomfort is worth it. It is understanding that life is not perfect and never will be, and it is the willingness to live anyway. It is the knowledge that people are not always trustworthy, and it is the willingness to try anyway. It is realizing that you might not always get things right the first time, and it is the willingness to do them anyway. It is the acceptance that you are not a perfect being, and it is the recognition that you never needed to be anyway.
A healthy mindset means knowing that you have the power to build the life you want, and it is the wisdom to know when you’re wasting that energy on the things you don’t. It is not believing you are the best person in the room, it is being okay even though you aren’t. It is not competing with people until you arise victoriously and on top, it is remembering that everyone has their own path, and you cannot beat someone on their journey of self-development.
You can, however, focus on yourself.
You can give yourself everything you’ve spent so long trying to earn from the world: all the acceptance, all the love, all the worthiness. It’s not that you have to find it, you just have to remember that you’ve had it all along. And that recollection? That’s what healing is. That’s what it means to have a healthy mind.