The behaviors that we most dislike in ourselves and others aren’t inherently bad, they just are a conglomeration of adaptations and coping mechanisms. When we don’t understand their purpose or source, we assume they come from some evil force outside of ourselves. The things we struggle with most are not demons that we have to battle and force ourselves to overcome, they are disassociated parts of ourselves that we have not yet learned to love.
When we can’t understand someone’s behavior, rather than try to piece together their motivations, we invoke the perimeter of ignorance, assume it is a force outside of them that is responsible. When we do this to ourselves, we forfeit any chance at changing because we have externalized the power, and therefore, the control.
We are driven to avoid pain and seek pleasure, and sometimes, our brains can’t sort out the fact that pain is actually trying to communicate something with us, and if we would not resist it, it would not only pass on its own but potentially share invaluable wisdom and be a catalyst for change. Rather than allowing the message to be received, we suppress it until our lives are all but defined by irrational fears, self-sabotage and limiting beliefs.
The things we struggle with the most are the things we are here to master. The triggers are the guides.
Your problems exist because there is some part of you that is being ignored, rejected or denied. What is on the other side of your pain? What is the opposite of your fear? What would be the solution to your suffering? Those answers are what you need to create. They are what you are here to do.
Every time you try to force yourself to perform better, you are deepening an existing internal conflict. Every time you judge someone, you are projecting out from a wound you have. Every time you engage in a self-sabotaging behavior, you are showing yourself that you don’t actually understand what it is you want. Every time you resist any feeling, you intensify it and manifest it, because rather than a messenger, it becomes this haunting unknown that you “can’t figure out.”
Healing is the process of reintegration. It is the process of seeing all the parts of you that you have rejected and demonized and asking them what they need to feel healthy and whole and loved.
Our internal guidance systems whisper until they scream.
The things that are bothering you most right now are not external forces trying to torture you for the sake of it – they are your own mind identifying what in your life can be fixed, changed and transformed. If you continue to not take action, the siren will only get louder, and if you never learn to listen to it, you will probably just disassociate from it, and then be a victim to it.
You already have the answers. You already know what you’re here to do. You are here to create everything that would make you happier than you can imagine. It is only a matter of quieting your mind enough so you can feel all of the unlimited potential that is begging you to be used.