1. You feel inexplicably exhausted, achy or unmotivated in the hours and days after having contact with them.
2. You feel instinctively avoidant toward answering their calls or making plans, even if you end up doing it eventually.
3. Their negativity carries into the rest of your life, and you find yourself venting to other friends about how frustrating their actions are.
4. They always seem to have a problem that they need you to help solve.
5. They insult you in such a subtle way that you don’t know what’s going on until you’re an hour into the conversation and wondering why you feel so offended.
6. They have warped and illogical views of themselves and the world that they are absolutely convinced are true – to the point that it actually makes you question your own sanity.
7. They are “sure, but” people. They advocate for negativity. You often can’t share good news or a different idea without them immediately jumping to invalidate it in some way.
8. You witness them almost having multiple personalities: acting as though they are best friends with one person, and then speaking of them like they are worst enemies when they aren’t around.
9. You are never quite sure where you stand. Their disapproval is irrational and unpredictable, and they keep you constantly on your toes.
10. You often get nervous before you go to hang out with them. For some reason, you worry about what you look like, how they will perceive you, what you will make conversation about, and so on.
11. You feel like you always have to prove yourself to them.
12. They position themselves in a place of superiority. You and everyone else are made to think that they are the best at whatever they are involved in.
13. You feel more compelled to convince them that you are “cool” and “good enough” than you want to connect with them genuinely and share the details of your life.
14. They are melodramatic about absolutely everything, to the point that you start to assume they are dramatizing for the sake of getting an emotional reaction out of you.
15. They like gossip and petty drama, and always seem to want to talk about other people when you’re together.
16. They make you more uncertain about your life and your future than they inspire and motivate you to go after your dreams.
17. They have oddly strong and negative opinions about everyone, even people they just met or only know vaguely.
18. They only support you when you’re down and out – when you’re thriving and succeeding, they seem to be nowhere around.
19. They are completely in denial that the problem is them. If you dare try to bring up the fact that you’re upset with their actions, they will deflect, deny and gaslight you into believing the problem has been you all along.