1. They have the same long-term goal for the relationship.
When both partners want the same thing from one another, they are more capable of letting small arguments pass and focusing on the bigger picture, whereas couples who want different things will use arguments and differences as “outs.”
2. They don’t look for “signs.”
Mentally strong couples don’t wait for the relationship of their dreams to happen – they make the relationship of their dreams happen. They internalize control over whether or not they live out a love story.
3. They vent to their partner more than they vent about them.
They are allies more than they are enemies; when in the company of others, they would not tolerate someone speaking negatively about the other.
4. They have silent car rides.
“Silent car rides” is a way to say that they have such a deep level of comfort and intimacy that they aren’t always in “performance” mode.
5. They maintain their individuality.
Mentally strong couples understand that they are individuals first, and in order to thrive together, they must be happy with who they are separately. Combining your life with another person does not mean losing yourself to the partnership, and mentally strong couples see their relationship as a meeting of two lives rather than a merging.
6. They have common causes.
Whether they belong to the same community, have children, dream of running a household together, or have the same passions in art or music, mentally strong couples often have a “why” outside of their own feelings.
7. They are both willing to take responsibility when things go wrong.
When they argue, they do so with the intent of deepening the other person’s understanding of their needs – not to prove themselves right and put their partner down. When things go wrong, they both want to work on it (and themselves) in an effort to do and be better together.
8. They have clear lines of communication as much as possible.
Even if they are not naturally similar communicators, mentally strong couples understand that it is how something gets said that usually holds more weight than what it is.
9. They leave room for the other person to grow.
Mentally strong couples see their partners as whole individuals, and rather than insisting that they stay in their comfort zones forever, hope that they will grow alongside one another for as long as life allows.