1. Trying to be liked by people you dislike.
2. Looking like a model if it is not your actual job to be one.
3. Convenience over quality.
4. How tall your boyfriend is, as opposed to how committed, loyal, kind, and compatible you are together.
5. Being on “trend” with anything, but especially clothes that will begin to decompose within 3 wears anyway.
6. Drinking every weekend with acquaintances so as to quell the fear that you “don’t have a life.”
7. All of the excuses you’d previously been using to justify your current lot in life; honoring your fear of failing more than you do your fear of not becoming all that you want and need to be.
8. Spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need.
9. Occupying every free moment of your time as opposed to sitting with your anxiety and letting it tell you how you really feel and what you really need.
10. Documenting everything you do; subscribing to the idea that something didn’t really happen until it was posted online.
11. Other people’s opinions of your books, magazines, music, or anything that is a sheer matter of subjective taste and preference.
12. The opinions of people you wouldn’t want to switch places with.
13. Short-term solutions that act as a temporary mask in front of the deep healing you really need.
14. Having too much pride to call a therapist.
15. Or an accountant.
16. Wasting energy on anyone who doesn’t want to commit within a few weeks of dating; believing that “not wanting a relationship right now” is a valid life status rather than a sign that someone isn’t right for you.
17. Valuing how good your life looks online as opposed to how good your life feels in reality.
18. Trying to change people who you know have no intention of changing.
19. Always needing to be right, rather than always wanting to be kind.
20. Believing you need to be good at everything.