1. Make a capsule wardrobe based on just your favorite things to wear.
If it seems to hard to get rid of clothing that doesn’t feel like yours, then just commit to wearing only your favorite things and boxing everything else away. You’ll find that by the end of your experiment, mornings will be less stressful, you’ll feel more at ease with yourself, and the boxes will probably hit the donation bins anyway.
2. Meditate on what your most fully realized self is like.
This is one of the hardest things to imagine, yet at the same time, the most important: what is your best self like? What do you do each day? What do you look like? You have to be able to envision what your most fully actualized self is. Until you do, you won’t be able to completely get there.
3. Make a list of things that give you energy, and then a list of things that drain you of your energy.
The first is probably most aligned with what you should be doing, the latter what you should figure out a reasonable way to let go of. The differences between the two can also tell you a lot about who you are, and what you should focus more on in life.
4. Forget about your defenses.
People who are defensive about anything are covering up for a gap in their certainty. People who are most fully themselves don’t worry about such things – their validity is not threatened by an opinion.
5. Start wearing what’s comfortable, not what’s “good.”
People have an odd (and incorrect) idea that “comfortable” means lazy or inappropriate, but really, comfortable is the kind of clothing that makes you feel as though you’re most accurately representing yourself.
6. Forget about being fashionable.
Fashion is what you buy – style is what you do with it. Figure out what your style is based on the similarities of the things you’re drawn to, and what you are inclined to put together on your own, not the things that are trending on the racks.
7. Redecorate your space with only things you know to be purposeful or find to be beautiful.
Do not even worry about putting together a cohesive looking home. What you’ll find is that the most aesthetically pleasing thing will be a collection of what matters to you, and your taste will naturally cohere a space that just “goes.”
8. Bring your personal passion to whatever it is you do.
Even if your job isn’t the perfect embodiment of your interests, bring love and awareness and effort into every action – you’ll realize that the ‘perfect job’ is just what you decide it is (and you can be happy with where you are while still wanting to be somewhere else).
9. Write down exactly what you’d do if you only had a day or a week to live.
Whatever it is – write a book, travel, spend time with loved ones – is what you must accomplish in your life, it’s what matters the most.
10. ‘Bake your own birthday cake.’
If you want to actually bake your own birthday cake, that’s good, but it really means that you should celebrate yourself first, and do so in the ways you truly want to be loved and acknowledged. Take yourself out somewhere you really want to go, pop a bottle of champagne on your own. These are the little things that ultimately teach you to validate yourself first.