1. The ability to put themselves first without feeling as though they’re being “selfish.”
2. The knowledge that the sentiment, “you can be anything,” doesn’t mean, “you have to be everything.”
3. The routine of cleaning house — of clothes that aren’t worn, contacts who aren’t spoken to, Facebook friends who aren’t necessary, etc.
4. A hobby that’s either healthy or creative or in some way productive.
5. A sense of self-worth that isn’t rooted in something physical.
7. Awareness. This isn’t a matter of education, but of knowledge — of what they believe in, not what they assume is truth because they weren’t taught differently.
8. A few close friends, not a bunch of acquaintances.
9. The ability to relax, the knowledge of how they best do so, and the discipline to do it regularly.
10. Books they treat like bibles.
11. A budget, and the discipline to at least try to stick to it.
12. A definitive, thought-out “dealbreaker” list, one that’s not whimsical or rooted solely in vanities. If they know they want to have kids one day (or don’t), or their views on religion impact what they’re looking for in a partner, they know to stick to their guns on what they believe in.
13. The confidence to ask someone out, and the self-awareness that someone being “out of their league” is a false construct.
14. A life outside of what appears on social media.
15. An unapologetic sense of personal style.
16. A routine. For grounding themselves, for a fail-proof 5 minute hairstyle, for meditation, for exercise, for food, for anything that matters to them.
17. An idea of what matters to them, and why.
18. The ability to give their bodies love, even when they don’t love them at all.
19. The knowledge that the standards and expectations on women are insane in this world, and the only standards they should uphold are the ones they have set for themselves.
20. A firm understanding of the issues that directly impact them.
21. The ability to quell tension in a relationship, whether that’s walking away for five minutes or knowing when it’s time to call in professional therapy.
22. The ability to confidently speak up when they need to (or just want to.)
23. A place and person to go to when their souls need soothing.
24. A life plan that’s based on what brings them happiness.
25. A mentor, someone who sees their potential and pushes them to reach it when they doubt themselves most.
27. The belief that they deserve to be happy.