1. Real-job. (n). Something you do not have. Not to be confused with “job,” “real-job” is a conjunction that implies someone who works in a cubicle, at a company that started at least 10-15 years ago, with health benefits and an affinity for pantsuits.
Used in a sentence: “Oh, that writing thing, is that your real job?”
2. 401k. (n). A mystical and unknown fortress for the financially sound. An emblem of true adult responsibility.
Used in a sentence: “Where do you sign up for a 401k?”
3. Engaged. (adv). When someone loves another person so much they decide to get the government involved so they cannot leave them. For eternity.
Used in a sentence: “She got engaged?! Sad. She had so much potential.”
4. Insurance. (n). A blessing bestowed upon a chosen few.
Used in a sentence: “Who cares I’m on my parents insurance until I’m 26 anyway.”
5. Settle. (v). A thing one does when they have no other options, particularly in the department of romance.
Used in a sentence: “I’m not going to just SETTLE for someone so I can get married by 25.”
6. Retirement. (n). As in, are you planning for yours?
Used in a sentence: “The biggest mistake 20-somethings make is waiting until their 30-somethings to start planning for retirement.”
7. Debt. (n). An insurmountable chokehold brought on by burgeoning bills that were traded in collateral for an education that society taught us was a necessity.
Used in a sentence: “Yes, I’m moving back in with my parents, I mean, it just doesn’t make sense to pay so much in rent when I’m 75K in debt.”
8. Budget. (n). A theoretically crucial thing that serves to restrict monetary means to what’s necessary. A synonym for responsibility. Largely ignored.
Used in a sentence: “My budget is half my paycheck for things I couldn’t buy while I wasn’t working and the other half to bills because I basically owe Sallie Mae an organ at this point.”
9. Privileged. (adj). Those born with the resources to have everything on this list without working too hard, if at all. Kate Menendez.
Used in a sentence: “I don’t hate you because you’re privileged. I hate you because you’re an asshole.”
10. Graduate. (v). A ritual signifying passage into the “real world.”
Used in a sentence: “I cannot WAIT until I graduate.” Alternatively: “I am getting a Master’s to put off having to graduate for a little bit longer.”
11. Parents. (n). As in, you’re moving back in with yours.
Used in a sentence: “It’s just what everybody does these days… everybody moves back home with their parents.”
12. 20-Something. (n). An overused term to classify a group of people just trying to get their lives together one step at a time.
Used in a sentence: “No, yeah, I read it on a really awesome Thought Catalog article called ’20 Ways 20-Somethings Are Successful In Their 20’s'”